Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
keen longing, those features characteristic of the Guermantes, of that
race which had remained so individual in the midst of a world with which
it was not confounded, in which it remained isolated in the glory of an
ornithomorphic divinity, for it seemed to have been the issue, in the
age of mythology, of the union of a goddess with a bird.
Robert, without being aware of its cause, was touched by my evident
affection. This was moreover increased by the sense of comfort inspired
in me by the heat of the fire and by the champagne which bedewed at the
same time my brow with beads of sweat and my cheeks with tears; it
washed down the partridges; I ate mine with the dumb wonder of a profane
mortal of any sort when he finds in a form of life with which he is not
familiar what he has supposed that form of life to exclude—the wonder,
for instance, of an atheist who sits down to an exquisitely cooked
dinner in a presbytery. And next morning, when I awoke, I rose and went
to cast from Saint-Loup’s window, which being at a great height
overlooked the whole countryside, a curious scrutiny to make the
acquaintance of my new neighbour, the landscape which I had not been
able to distinguish the day before, having arrived too late, at an hour
when it was already sleeping beneath the outspread cloak of night. And
yet, early as it had awoken from its sleep, I could see the ground, when
I opened the window and looked out, only as one sees it from the window
of a country house, overlooking the lake, shrouded still in its soft
white morning gown of mist which scarcely allowed me to make out
anything at all. But I knew that, before the troopers who were busy with
their horses in the square had finished grooming them, it would have
cast its gown aside. In the meantime, I could see only a meagre hill,
rearing close up against the side of the barracks a back already swept
clear of darkness, rough and wrinkled. Through the transparent curtain
of frost I could not take my eyes from this stranger who, too, was
looking at me for the first time. But when I had formed the habit of
coming to the barracks, my consciousness that the hill was there, more
real, consequently, even when I did not see it, than the hotel at
Balbec, than our house in Paris, of which I thought as of absent—or
dead—friends, that is to say without any strong belief in their
existence, brought it about that, even although I was not aware of it
myself, its reflected shape outlined itself on the slightest impressions
that I formed at Doncières, and among them, to begin with this first
morning, on the pleasing impression of warmth given me by the cup of
chocolate prepared by Saint-Loup’s batman in this comfortable room,
which had the effect of being an optical centre from which to look out
at the hill—the idea of there being anything else to do but just gaze at
it, the idea of actually climbing it being rendered impossible by this
same mist. Imbibing the shape of the hill, associated with the taste of
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