I was well received by the consul, who, on proofs of my identity,
immediately informed me that there was no French ship in the harbour,
but that need not disquiet me, since my family not receiving news of
me, and fearing that I might find myself in a difficult position from
the want of money, if any misfortune had happened to me during my
voyage, had written to all our agents in foreign countries, so that
anyone to whom I might present myself might give me, on my demand,
a sum adequate to supply my wants, and put me in a position, if I
wished it, to try my fortune where chance should have conducted me. He
concluded by adding that he held at my disposal the sum of 25,000f.,
and that he was ready to give it me immediately.
I thanked him, and only accepted three hundred piastres.
Some months passed, during which I made several agreeable
acquaintances, and perfected myself in the study of the Spanish
language.
On several occasions the consul had done me the kindness to inform me
that if I wished to leave for France, it would entirely depend upon my
own will; but each time, under some pretext or other. I declined his
offer, not being able to resolve to leave forever that land where I had
suffered so much, and to which, for that very reason, I was attached.
It is not with impunity that one has once tasted the wild pleasures
of independent, nomadic life, and breathed in liberty the embalmed
atmosphere of the high savannahs! I felt arising within me the passion
of an adventurer, and suffered a secret horror at the thought of
recommencing the colourless, circumscribed, and mean existence to which
European civilisation would have bound me.
And then I had bound myself in friendship with the gauchos. I made
excursions with them into the pampas, slept in their ranches,
hunted wild oxen and horses; all the poetry of the desert had taken
possession of me, and I only wished to return into the savannahs and
virgin forests, whatever might be the consequences to me of such a
determination.
In a word, one day, instead of embarking, as I had almost promised the
consul, I went to him, and explained my intentions.
The consul neither blamed me, nor gave me his approbation, but
contented himself with shaking his head with the melancholy smile of a
man in whom experience had killed all the illusions of youth, counted
out to me the sum I asked of him, shook my hand with a sigh of regret
and of pity, and, my business being at an end, I never saw him again.
Four days later, mounted on an excellent wild horse, and accompanied by
an Indian Guaranis, whom I had engaged to serve me as a guide, I left
Buenos Aires with the intention of proceeding by land to Brazil.
What business had I at Brazil?
I myself did not know.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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