England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Gregory was three years older than I. Aunt Fanny was always kind to him
in deed and in action, but she did not often think about him, she had
fallen so completely into the habit of being engrossed by me, from the
fact of my having come into her charge as a delicate baby. My father
never got over his grudging dislike to his stepson, who had so
innocently wrestled with him for the possession of my mother’s heart. I
mistrust me, too, that my father always considered him as the cause of
my mother’s death and my early delicacy; and utterly unreasonable as
this may seem, I believe my father rather cherished his feeling of
alienation to my brother as a duty, than strove to repress it. Yet not
for the world would my father have grudged him anything that money
could purchase. That was, as it were, in the bond when he had wedded my
mother. Gregory was lumpish and loutish, awkward and ungainly, marring
whatever he meddled in, and many a hard word and sharp scolding did he
get from the people about the farm, who hardly waited till my father’s
back was turned before they rated the stepson. I am ashamed—my heart is
sore to think how I fell into the fashion of the family, and slighted
my poor orphan step-brother. I don’t think I ever scouted him, or was
wilfully ill-natured to him; but the habit of being considered in all
things, and being treated as something uncommon and superior, made me
insolent in my prosperity, and I exacted more than Gregory was always
willing to grant, and then, irritated, I sometimes repeated the
disparaging words I had heard others use with regard to him, without
fully understanding their meaning. Whether he did or not I cannot tell.
I am afraid he did. He used to turn silent and quiet—sullen and sulky,
my father thought it: stupid, aunt Fanny used to call it. But every one
said he was stupid and dull, and this stupidity and dullness grew upon
him. He would sit without speaking a word, sometimes, for hours; then
my father would bid him rise and do some piece of work, maybe, about
the farm. And he would take three or four tellings before he would go.
When we were sent to school, it was all the same. He could never be
made to remember his lessons; the school-master grew weary of scolding
and flogging, and at last advised my father just to take him away, and
set him to some farm-work that might not be above his comprehension. I
think he was more gloomy and stupid than ever after this, yet he was
not a cross lad; he was patient and good-natured, and would try to do a
kind turn for any one, even if they had been scolding or cuffing him
not a minute before. But very often his attempts at kindness ended in
some mischief to the very people he was trying to serve, owing to his
awkward, ungainly ways. I suppose I was a clever lad; at any rate, I
always got plenty of praise; and was, as we called it, the cock of the
school. The schoolmaster said I could learn anything I chose, but my
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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