But sweet as such Sabbaths were to both woman and child, Elizabeth
knew that they deepened the unfavorable opinion about her, and she
was sure that they always grieved her old friend. So, one Monday
morning after an absence from church, she took the path through the
park, determined to call upon him, and explain, as far as she was able,
her reasons. It was a lovely day, and the child walked by her side, or
ran hither and thither after a blue-bell, or a primrose; stopping
sometimes behind, to watch a pair of building robins, or running on in
advance after a rabbit. There was in Elizabeth's heart a certain calm
happiness, which she did not analyze, but was content to feel and
enjoy. At a turn in the avenue she saw the rector approaching her,
and there was something in his appearance, even in the distance, which
annoyed and irritated her. "He is coming to reprove me, of course,"
she thought; and she mentally resolved for once, to defend herself
against all assertions.
"Good-morning, Miss Hallam; I was coming to see you."
"And I was going to the rectory. As the park is so pleasant, will you
return with me?"
"Yes, I will. Have you any idea why I was coming to see you?"
"I have. It was to say something unjust or cruel, I suppose. No one
ever comes to see me for any other purpose."
"Whose fault is that?"
"Not mine. I have done no wrong to any one."
"What has your life been during the last three years?"
"Free from all evil. My worst enemy cannot accuse me."
"Why have you closed the hall? Given up all the kind and hospitable
ways of your ancestors? Shut yourself up with one old woman?"
"Because my conscience and my heart approves what I have done, and
do. Can I not live as I choose? Am I obliged to give an account of
myself, and of my motives, to every man and woman in the parish? O!
I have been cruelly, shamefully used!" she said, standing suddenly
still and lifting her face, "God alone knows how cruelly and how
unjustly!"
"My dear child, people know nothing of your motives."
"Then they are wicked to judge without knowledge."
"Do you not owe society something?"
"It has no right to insist that I wear my heart upon my sleeve."
"I was your father's friend; I have known you from your birth,
Elizabeth Hallam--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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