Elizabeth scarce knew how to answer. She had never been used to discuss
sacred subjects with girls her own age; in fact, she had a vague idea
that such subjects were not to be discussed out of church, or, at
least, without a clergyman to direct the conversation. And Phyllis's
childish figure, glowing face, and sublime confidence affected her
with a sense of something strange and remote. Yet the conversation
interested her greatly. People are very foolish who restrain spiritual
confidences; no topic is so universally and permanently interesting
as religious experience. Elizabeth felt its charm at once. She loved
God, but loved him, as it were, afar off; she almost feared to speak
to him. She had never dared to speak of him.
"Do you really think, Phyllis, that angels care about our earthly
loves?"
"Yes, I do. Love is the rock upon which our lives are generally built
or wrecked. Elizabeth, if I did not believe that the love of God
embraced every worthy earthly love, I should be very miserable."
"Because?"
"Because, dear, I love, and am beloved again."
"But how shall we know if the love be worthy?"
"Once in class-meeting I asked this question. That was when I first
became aware that I loved John Millard. I am not likely to forget the
answer my leader gave me."
"What was it?"
"Sister Phyllis," he said, "ask yourself what will your love be to
you a thousand ages hence. Ask yourself if it will pass the rolling
together of the heavens like a scroll, and the melting of the elements
with fervent heat. Ask if it will pass the judgment-day, when the
secret thoughts of all hearts will be revealed. Dare to love only one
whom you can love forever."
"I have never thought of loving throughout all eternity the one whom
I love in time."
"Ah! but it is our privilege to cherish the immortal in the man we
love. Where I go I wish my beloved to go also. The thought of our love
severed on the threshold of paradise makes me weep. I cannot understand
an affection which must look forward to an irrevocable separation.
Nay, I ask more than this; I desire that my love, even there assuming
his own proper place, should be still in advance of me--my guide, my
support, my master every-where."
"If you love John Millard in this way, he and you must be very happy."
"We are, and yet what earthly light has not its shadow?"
"What is the shadow, Phyllis?"
"Richard dislikes him so bitterly; and Richard is very, very near and
dear to me. I dare say you think he is very cool and calm and quiet.
It is the restraint which he puts upon himself; really Richard has
a constant fight with a temper, which, if it should take possession
of him, would be uncontrollable. He knows that."
"You spoke as if you are a Wesleyan, yet you went to Church last
Sunday, Phyllis."
"Why not? Methodists are not bigots; and just as England is my
mother-country, Episcopacy is my mother-Church. If Episcopacy should
ever die, Elizabeth, Methodism is next of kin, and would be heir to
all her churches."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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