The Hand-Made Gentleman: A Tale of the Battles of PeaceBacheller, Irving
History
The Hand-Made Gentleman: A Tale of the Battles of Peace
Bacheller, Irving
United States -- History -- 19th century -- Fiction
By-and-by it grew dark, and I could hear only the dip of his paddle and
water washing on the bow.
“Say,” he exclaimed, suddenly, “that's an awful curious riddle that
you've got in your pocket there.”
“What do you make of it?” I asked.
He seemed not to hear me, but continued to work his paddle in silence
until we got out below the Mill House.
“Did you ever hear of the ghost riddles?” he asked, presently.
“No.”
“Well, I wouldn't wonder if it was one of em.
“What are the ghost riddles?” I asked.
“I'll tell you some time; my sister had one give to her,” he said, as he
started down the river.
“I want you to stay all night with us!” I called. But I could hear only
the sound of his feet on the gravel as they hurried away.
ADVENTURE III.--BEING THAT OF THE BUNGWOOD COW
[Illustration: 9045]
HAT week my clerkship began with Mr. Weatherby. To my great
disappointment “the Pearl of great price” had left the village of Mill
Pond, having gone nobody knew where.
It was my duty to sweep the floor and clean the windows, pump the
kerosene, draw the West India molasses, and, when not otherwise
employed, to sell tea, candy, and tobacco. The kerosene department took
most of my time.
Of course, I was in love with a girl much older than I, but the odor of
petroleum, which, in spite of soap and water, maintained its hold upon
me day and night, gave me the feeling of a tethered dog. Hope would not
live with it, somehow. Then my face itself was so innocent of beard,
beauty, or manliness. The little mirror which hung in a corner of the
store flung back at me, always, a look of sheer contempt. One day, when
I was alone, I took a store razor and began my first shave. As I went
on, my face seemed to be enlarging and taking a highly serious view
of itself. I stood by the mirror feeling it. As I did so, secret and
burning thoughts began to move my tongue. Unconsciously I was talking to
myself when I heard a loud guffaw. It was Bony Squares, lately returned
from a far city to his home at Mill Pond. He was a printer who had
travelled much, and could box and play ball and keep a crowd roaring on
the store-steps every Saturday night. Moreover, he wore boiled shirts,
and collars cut very low, and wonderful neckties of colored silk, and
had a smart way with him.
“Ah, ha!” he exclaimed, “you've been a-shav-ing yerself!”
I smiled and blushed, and said nothing.
He dropped his walking-stick and hopped over it two or three times,
and cackled, “Ha, ha! ho, ho! You're going to have a mustache, and then
you're going to see a gal by the name o' Mary.”
It seemed as if ruin stared me in the face.
“Lend me two dollars,” Bony Squares demanded. “Come, be quick about, it
or I'll tell on ye--hope t' die if I don't.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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