“It's bad,” Calvin Stammark went on. “The women are bad; and a bad woman
is something awful. I know about that too. I've been to the city as
well as Phebe. Oh, Hannah,” he cried, “can't you see, can't you!” With
a violent effort he regained the greater part of his composure. “But it
won't touch you,” he added; “we're going to be married right away.”
“We are?” Hannah echoed him thinly, in bitter mockery. “I wouldn't have
you now if you were the last man on earth with the way you talked about
Phebe! I don't see how you can stand there and look at me. If I told pa
or Hosmer they would shoot you. You might as well know this as well--I'm
going back with her; it'll be some gayer than these lonely old valleys
or your house stuck away all by itself with nothing to see but Senator
Alderwith's steers.”
There flashed into Calvin Stammark's mind the memory of how he had
planned to possess just such cattle for Hannah and himself; he saw in
the elusive lamplight the house he had built for Hannah. His feeling,
that a second before had been so acute, was numb. This, he thought, was
strange; a voice within echoed that he was going to lose her, to lose
Hannah; but he had no faculty capable of understanding such a calamity.
“Why, Hannah,” he said impotently--“Hannah--” His vision blurred so that
he couldn't see her clearly; it was as if, indistinct before him,
she were already fading from his life. “I never went to hurt you,”
he continued in a curious detachment from his suffering. “You were
everything I had.”
Calvin grew awkward, confused in his mind and gestures. At the same time
Hannah's desirability increased immeasurably. Never in Greenstream or
any place else had he seen another like her; and he was about to lose
her, lose Hannah.
Automatically he repeated, “If Phebe were a man----”
He was powerless not only against exterior circumstance but to combat
what lay with Hannah. Phebe would never set her hands in hot dishwater.
He recalled their mother, fretful and impatient. He shook his head as
if to free his mind from so many vain thoughts. She stood, hard and
unrelenting.
He tried to mutter a phrase about being here if she should return, but
it perished in the conviction of its uselessness. Calvin saw her with
green-yellow hair, a cigarette in painted lips; he heard the blurred
applause of men at the spectacle of Hannah on the stage, dressed like
the women he had seen there. Then pride stiffened him into a semblance
of her own remoteness.
“It's in you,” he said; “and it will have to come out. I'm what I am
too, and that doesn't make it any easier. Kind of a fool about you.
Another girl won't do. I'll say good night.”
He turned and abruptly quitted the room and all his hope.
VI
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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