The practice proceeded with renewed vigor through the evenings that
followed; then French Janin sank back into a torpor, varied by acute
depression.
“I haven't got the life in me to teach you,” he admitted to Harry Baggs.
“I'll be dead before you get your chance; besides, you ought to be
practising all day, and not digging round plants and singing a little in
the evening. You've got the voice, but that's not enough; you've got to
work at exercises all your life.”
“I'm strong,” Harry Baggs told him; “I can work more than most men.”
“No, that won't do alone; you've got to go at it right, from the start;
the method's got to be good. I'll be dead in some hospital or field when
you'll be hardly starting. But remember it was Janin who found you,
who dug you out of a set of tramps, gave you your first lessons.” He
changed. “Stay along with me, Harry,” he begged; “take me with you.
You're strong and'll never notice an old man. You will be making
thousands some day. I will stop the morphia; perhaps I've got a good bit
in me yet. Attention!” He raised the bow.
“No!” he cried, interrupting. “Breathe deep, below the chest. Control!
Control! Hold the note steady, in the middle; don't force it into your
head.”
His determination scion expired. Tears crept from under his sunken
lids. He reached furtively into his pocket, took morphia. The conviction
seized Harry Baggs that nothing could be accomplished here. The other's
dejection was communicated to him. Where could he find the money, the
time for the necessary laborious years of preparation? He was without
credentials, without clothes; there was no one to whom he could go but
the old spent man beside him. They were adrift together outside life, as
the huts they inhabited were outside the orderly town beyond the hill.
He rose, left Janin, and walked slowly along the fence to the road. The
moon had increased in size and brilliancy; the apple trees had bloomed
and their fallen petals glimmered on the ground. He thought of the house
on the smooth sward, with its hedge and old trees; a sudden longing
seized him to linger at its edge, absorb again the profound peaceful
ease; and he quickened his pace until he was opposite the low gray
façade.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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