I do not remember ever to have seen Ann talking to her mistress, and
no doubt she did without her. Mrs Morgan was not to be seen about the
house, and her room was perfectly respected. She sat at the window
looking on to the yard and watched the boys as she sewed, or read, or
pretended to read. Sometimes Jessie sat with her, and then I have seen
her smiling. She had large eyes of a gloomy lustre which looked as if
they had worn their hollows in the gaunt face by much gazing and still
more musing. The boys were silent for a moment as they went past her
door. I do not know when she went out, if she ever did, but I never
saw her even in the yard. Nor did I see her with Mr Morgan, and it
was known that he was never in her sitting-room. She seemed to live
uncomplaining under a weight of gloom, looking out from under it upon
her strong sons and their busy indolence, with admiration and also a
certain dread.
Jessie was the favourite child of father and mother, but I used to
think that it was to avoid her father that she was so often in her
mother’s room. Why else should such a child of light and liberty
stay in that quietness and dark silence which breathed out darkness
over the house? Outside that room she was her brothers’ equal in
boldness, merriment and even in strength. Yet it once struck me with
some horror, as she sat up at the window, that she was like her
mother--too much like her--the dark eyes large, the cheeks not any too
plump, the expression sobered either by some fear of her own or by the
conversation; it struck me that she might some day by unimaginable
steps reach that aspect of soft endurance and tranquilly expectant
fear. At fifteen, when I best remember her, she was a tall girl with
a very grave face when alone, which could break out with astonishing
ease into great smiles of greeting and then laughter of the whole soul
and body as she was lured to one group or another in the yard. She
mixed so roughly and carelessly with every one that, at first, I, who
had false picture-book notions of beauty and looked for it to have
something proud and ceremonious in itself and its reception, did not
see how beautiful she was. She took no care of her dress, and this
made all the more noticeable the radiant sweetness of her complexion.
But I recognised her beauty before long. One Saturday night she was
shopping with Ann, and I met her suddenly face to face amidst a pale
crowd all spattered with acute light and shadow from the shops. I did
not know who it was, though I knew Ann. She was so extraordinary that
I stared hard at her as people do at a foreigner, or a picture, or
an animal, not expecting a look in answer. Others also were staring,
some of the women were laughing. There could be no greater testimony
to beauty than this laughter of the vulgar. The vulgar always laugh
at beauty; that they did so is my only reason for calling these women
by that hateful name. Jessie did not heed them. Then she caught sight
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