An ordinary bird certainly--and an ordinary angel probably--would have
pined away at 21 Abercorran Street after having lived at Abercorran
House and at Abercorran itself. But Ann is just the same as when I
last saw her in Abercorran House. She alone that day was unchanged.
The house, the Wilderness, the conservatory, the pigeon-houses, all
were changed; I was changed, but not Ann. Yet the family had then newly
gone, leaving her alone in the house. It was some years since I had
been there. They had been going on as ever in that idle, careless, busy
life which required a big country house and an illimitable playground
of moor and mountain for a full and fitting display. Gradually their
friends grew up, went to a university, to business, or abroad, and
acquired preferences which were not easily to be adapted to that
sunny, untidy house. At first these friends would be only too glad to
go round to Abercorran House of an evening after business, or a morning
or two after the beginning of the vacation. Perhaps they came again,
and after a long interval yet again. They said it was different: but
they were wrong; it was they themselves were different; the Morgans
never changed. In this way young men of the neighbourhood discovered
that they were no longer boys. They could no longer put up with that
careless hullabaloo of lazy, cheerful people, they took offence at the
laziness, or else at the cheerfulness. Also they saw that Jessie, the
girl, was as frank and untidy at seventeen as she had always been, and
it took them aback, especially if they were wanting to make love to
her. The thought of it made them feel foolish against their will. They
fancied that she would laugh. Yet it was easy to believe that Jessie
might die for love or for a lover. When somebody was pitying the girl
who drowned herself in the Wilderness pond, Jessie interrupted: “She
isn’t a _poor girl_; she is dead; it is you are poor; she has got what
she wanted, and some of you don’t know what you want, and if you did
you would be afraid of cold water.” The young men could see the power
of such words in Jessie’s eye, and they did not make love to her. Some
took their revenge by calling her a slut, which was what Ann used to
call her when she was affectionate, as she could be to Jessie only.
“Come on, there’s a slut,” she used to say. It was too familiar for
the youths, but some of them would have liked to use it, because they
felt that the phrase was somehow as amorous as it was curt, a sort of
blow that was as fond as a kiss. Even when, in their hard hats at the
age of twenty or so, they used the term, in condemnation, they would
still have given their hats for courage to speak it as Ann did, and
say: “Come on, Jessie, there’s a slut”; for they would have had to kiss
her after the word, both because they could not help it, and for fear
she should misunderstand its significance. At any rate, I believe that
nobody but Ann ever addressed that term of utmost endearment to Jessie.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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