"Silence!" shouted the suddenly enraged judge. "This court depends
entirely on the Very Complicated Monstrous Proximilator machine for
its evidence." He turned to the jury, still seething. "The jury will
completely disregard the defendant's utterly uncalled-for admission.
Proceed, Mr. Prosecutor."
The prosecutor fastened the ground cable of the machine to Fannie's big
toe by means of an immense alligator clamp. Then taking the bulbous
radio-frequency probe in his hand he said portentously, "Now we shall
search for the memory-recording of Fannie Bork's moment of death!"
He touched her brain lightly with the probe.
Those seeing it for the first time were chilled by the dead body's
sudden animation.
"Oh, Winston!" cooed dead Fannie Bork, her aims raising from the cot to
embrace an invisible something. She kissed. "You tastes good!"
The prosecutor moved the probe.
"George?" called Fannie, her slim arms searching at the side of her
cot. "I didn't hear you leave, George." She relaxed. "Oh, I hope he
found his shoes."
"He didn't though," contributed John Bork.
The prosecutor moved the probe, hurrying on by emotion-stirred quavers:
Angelo, Moose, Maudie, Deacon and Quasimodo.
"Speed, darlin', what's your _hurry_?" asked Fannie in her plaintive,
metallic voice as she held out her hands beseechingly.
"I never got to know him very well," interjected John Bork. "His visits
were all so short."
The prosecutor moved his probe.
"Bork! Bork!"
"Ah," said the prosecutor. "Now we are getting down to cases. I shall
try that spot again."
"Bork! Bork!"
"She's not calling for me," advised Bork. "She just had a cold that
week."
* * * * *
The prosecutor moved his probe. At each touch, the body broke into
quaking action: Ferdinand, Frenchy, Yacob; Peyton, Rebel, Young foo
Yum; and John.
"Ah!" said the prosecutor. "Here we are now."
"John!" whispered Fannie. "John, John, John! Oh, Johnny Johnson, my
love! _Stay_ here forever!"
"Wife's other John," said John Bork succinctly.
The prosecutor moved his probe: Sinclair, Henrik, Sitting Duck, Oscar,
Kenny, and Aqueduct.
"That Aqueduct is Sitting Duck's educated brother," confided John Bork.
"Before he went to Princeton his name was Wet Duck."
The prosecutor moved his probe: Pease, Reese and Meese, Acuff, Eyolf
and Beowulf; Bork! Bork!
"That cough again?" muttered the prosecutor, ready to move on.
"No, she's calling for me that time," corrected Bork.
"How can you tell?"
"It has more of a snarl in it than her cough has."
The prosecutor tried the spot once more.
"Bork! Bork! Why are you pointing that at me, Bork? What are you going
to _do_, Bork?" She held out her hands to ward him off. "Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh!" Then she dropped her hands.
"I missed twice," John said, nodding.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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