The Happy WarriorHutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
General
The Happy Warrior
Hutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Fiction
But those thoughts were swept away, and fate of poor old Hunt that had
caused them temporarily forgotten, by footsteps that brought up the
path three figures, of whom two were colossal of girth and bright red
of face--one striking at his thigh as if his hand held an imaginary
stick--and one that walked behind them lean and brown, with rare bright
eyes in a face of many little lines.
"Why, Mr. Hannaford! Mr. Hannaford!" Percival cried delightedly.
"Stingo! Good old Japhra!--you've actually brought them!"
They were actually brought; but in the alarming company of women
folk--of Aunt Maggie, of Ima, and of Honor, who now, the visit having
been expected, came out with a laden tea-table--the tremendous brothers
exhibited themselves in a state of embarrassment that appeared to make
it highly improbable that they would remain. First having shaken hands
all round the circle, colliding heavily with one another before each,
Mr. Hannaford declaring to each in turn "Warm--warm--bless my eighteen
stun proper if it ain't!" and Stingo repeating some husky throatings of
identical sound but no articulation; they then shook hands with one
another; then proceeded round the circle again; simultaneously appeared
to discover their mistake; collided with shocking violence; and finally
relapsed into enormous nose-blowings, trumpeting one against the other,
as it seemed, into handkerchiefs of the size of small towels.
It was to abate this tremendous clamour that Aunt Maggie handed a cup
of tea to Mr. Hannaford, and it was without the remotest desire in the
world to have it there that Mr. Hannaford in some extraordinary way
found it on the side of his right hand and proceeded to go through an
involved series of really admirable juggling feats with it, beginning
with the cup and saucer and ending with the spoon alone, that came to a
grand finale in cup, saucer and spoon shooting separately and at
tolerable intervals in three different and considerable directions. It
was to cover the amazement of the tremendous brothers at this
extraordinary incident that Ima handed a piece of cake to Stingo, and
it was the fact that Stingo had no sooner conveyed it to his mouth than
he abandoned himself to a paroxysm of choking and for his relief was
followed about the garden by Mr. Hannaford with positively stunning
blows on the back that sent Percival at last from agonies of hopeless
giggling to peals of laughter which established every one at their ease.
"Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" from Percival. "I'm awfully sorry--I can't
help it. Oh, Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Impossible to resist it: "Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!" thundered Mr.
Hannaford.
"Oh, Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" shook Percival, rolling on his pillows.
"He! He! He! He! He!" came Stingo, infection of mirth vanquishing
the contrariness of the cake-crumb.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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