The Harim and the Purdah: Studies of Oriental WomenCooper, Elizabeth
Religion
The Harim and the Purdah: Studies of Oriental Women
Cooper, Elizabeth
East Asia -- Social life and customs; Women -- East Asia
Marriage is a most ruinous operation financially for the parents,
especially for the father of the bride. He must give a feast lasting for
five days to all friends and relatives, presents to all the contracting
parties, and great liberality must be shown the Brahmans and priests who
assist in the ceremony. If his new son-in-law is an educated youth, he
will demand a much larger dowry with his bride, in these days when
Western education is meaning so much in the life of the Indian youth. If
he is a “failed B.A.,” he may only demand, we will say, one thousand
rupees from his father-in-law. If he successfully passed his
examinations and is a full B.A., he quite likely would feel that those
letters added to his name were worth at least two thousand rupees; and
if he should by chance be a Doctor of Laws, his demands might be limited
only by the knowledge of the amount of gold the father of his bride has
stored for this emergency.
After the preliminary ceremonies have been concluded and the family
priest has decided upon the most propitious day for the nuptials, the
family begin to make preparations for the wedding. Invitations are taken
to friends and relatives who are within visiting distance by the women
of the household, who make upon the forehead of the invited female guest
the round red caste mark, and leave a small bundle of pan leaves and
betel-nut for the other members of the family. Often a little sandalwood
paste is touched to the chin and between the shoulders by the bearer of
the invitation. Mohammedan ladies send a tiny mica box with a cardamom
seed in it and a piece of confectionery, which is given with the verbal
invitation by the messenger, who must, if possible, be some member of
the family instead of a servant.
In the case of rich people the strong box is opened and the hoarded
rupees brought forth with which to buy the gold and silver jewellery for
both bride and groom, the elaborate wedding garments, and the saris,
which are given as presents to the women guests, and shawls for the men;
the store-rooms are examined to make sure that there is rice in plenty,
also wheat flour, butter, oil of sessaman, peas, vegetables, fruits,
pickles, curries, in fact, all the many foodstuffs necessary in the
preparation of the elaborate feasts which are the main events of the
wedding. Sandalwood powder is bought in great quantities, antimony for
the eyes, incense, the red paste which wives use on the forehead, and
innumerable numbers of the beautiful flower wreaths with which the
guests are garlanded after the entertainments. Plenty of new earthen
dishes are selected from the potters’ store, for these vessels may never
be used the second time.
In the case of the poor man, now is the time when the visits are made to
the moneylender, because, rich or poor, prince or peasant, there must be
no question of stint at this time of rejoicing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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