The Harim and the Purdah: Studies of Oriental WomenCooper, Elizabeth
Religion
The Harim and the Purdah: Studies of Oriental Women
Cooper, Elizabeth
East Asia -- Social life and customs; Women -- East Asia
When all the religious rites are finished and the festivities have come
to an end, there is a final procession, when the wife and husband,
gorgeously arrayed in all their jewellery, are carried round the town to
the accompaniment of music, the explosion of fire crackers, the shooting
of rockets, and the shouting of friends. Then, if the bride is still a
child, she returns home with her parents, who keep her secluded until
the time arrives for her to return to her husband’s home and fulfil the
duties of a wife. The day the husband and mother-in-law come to take the
wife to their home is made another time of rejoicing. She remains with
them for a month when she revisits her old home, and often for the first
few years, or until she has children, she lives alternately in her
husband’s house and in that of her parents. If she finds herself
ill-treated by her husband and tormented by her mother-in-law, the young
girl often seeks her father’s home for shelter and protection, and
remains with them until the husband or his mother come in person to
persuade her to return home. Nearly always her family add their
persuasions, if not their force, to compel the wife to return to her
husband’s roof, as it is a great disgrace to all concerned to have a
wife leave her husband. After the children come, the wife rarely leaves
her house and devotes her time and energies to the rearing of the little
ones that fill all homes, from the mansions of the rich to the huts of
the poor peasants. There seem to be more little brown bodies in India
than in any place I have visited, unless I except China, where the
staple articles are rice and babies.
The new wife has to accommodate herself to the customs of her husband’s
family, and much of her future happiness depends upon the women members
of the household. If it is a very aristocratic family, she may have all
the luxuries of life, beautiful gold-embroidered saris, jewels,
servants, and slaves, but very little liberty. There is a saying that
you can tell the degree of a family’s aristocracy by the height of the
windows in the home. The higher the rank, the smaller and higher are the
windows and the more secluded the women. An ordinary lady may walk in
the garden and hear the birds sing and see the flowers. A higher grade
lady may only look at them from her windows, and if she is a very great
lady indeed, this even is forbidden her, as the windows are high up near
the ceiling, merely slits in the wall for the lighting and ventilation
of the room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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