The Hawks of Hawk-Hollow: A Tradition of PennsylavaniaBird, Robert Montgomery
History
The Hawks of Hawk-Hollow: A Tradition of Pennsylavania
Bird, Robert Montgomery
Pennsylvania -- History -- Fiction
"Harkee, friend methodist, or whatever you are," said Captain Loring,
not a whit abashed by the violent zeal with which the fanatic
prolonged this remonstrance, "it is not in my way to insult the
cloth, all chaplains being non-combatants. But, hark ye, sir,
adzooks, I don't believe you are a preacher at all, but a rogue in
another man's feathers; and if you don't satisfy my mind, I will
arrest you on suspicion of being a rascal, I will by the lord! and
that's as true as any Scripture. And do you, you Harper
What-d'ye-call-it," (turning to the painter,) "hand me my pistol, and
hold him by the leg; and you, Dick! club your whip, and stand by to
knock him off his horse; and you, Elsie, come forward for a witness;
for I believe the dog's a Gilbert. Surrender, you villain, and give
an account of yourself!"
Great was the confusion of the exhorting stranger, at finding he had
lighted upon a zealot, of fire so much superior to his own, and a
congregation so little disposed to bow down to his ministry; and
great was the inclination of Herman Hunter to enjoy a rencounter
betwixt two such antagonists, and even to add to its absurdities, by
taking part with the Captain against a man who, whatever was his
apparent sanctity, he was persuaded, was nothing more than a low and
vulgar hypocrite. However, perceiving that the latter worthy, besides
being greatly alarmed, was clubbing his bible as if weighing the
propriety of employing all its arguments and exhortations together,
in one fell swoop against the head of his irreligious captor, his
humanity and love of peace drove the young man betwixt the eccentric
pair, as a moderator and umpire.
"Stop, Captain," said he; "this mode of questioning is against the
law; and you, reverend stranger, hearken to me. Being a man of
religion and peace, and doubtless good sense and good manners, you
can do nothing more than answer a civil question; which will save you
the trouble of a ride, or drive, according to circumstances, to the
nearest magistrate."
"Magistrate!" cried the preacher, blankly, "what have the servants of
truth to do with a magistrate?"
"Yes, magistrate," blustered the soldier; "and then, adzooks, perhaps
to the hangman afterwards."
"In a word, sir," said Herman, "there has been a murder attempted;
though where, when, and how, I do not pretend to know; and this being
a land where suspicion is somewhat capricious and even whimsical, you
will see the necessity of doing as I myself have done but a moment
before you;--that is, of declaring your name and business to this
gentleman."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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