Executions and executioners -- Fiction; Satire; Sex role -- Fiction
"Well, Enguerrand," said Jeanne, composing herself with an effort,
though her lips were set hard, "I will do you the justice to believe
that personal advantage does not influence you, and I will try to reason
calmly with you, and convince you that you are simply hide-bound by
old-world prejudice. Now, take yourself, for instance, who come here to
instruct me: what does _your_ profession amount to, when all's said and
done? A mass of lies, quibbles, dodges, and tricks, that would make any
self-respecting executioner blush! And even with the dirty weapons at
your command, you make but a poor show of it. There was that wretched
fellow you defended only two days ago. (I was in court during the
trial--professional interest, you know.) Well, he had his regular
_alibi_ all ready, as clear as clear could be; only you must needs go
and mess and bungle the thing up, so that, just as I expected all
along, he was passed on to me for treatment in due course. You may like
to have his opinion--that of a shrewd, though unlettered person. 'It's a
real pleasure, miss,' he said, 'to be handled by you. You _knows_ your
work, and you _does_ your work--though p'raps I ses it as shouldn't. If
that blooming fool of a mouthpiece of mine'--he was referring to you,
dear, in your capacity of advocate--'had known his business half as well
as you do yours, I shouldn't a bin here now!' And you know, Enguerrand,
he was perfectly right."
"Well, perhaps he was," admitted Enguerrand. "You see, I had been
working at a sonnet the night before, and I couldn't get the rhymes
right, and they would keep coming into my head in court and mixing
themselves up with the _alibi_. But look here, Jeanne, when you saw I
was going off the track, you might have given me a friendly hint, you
know--for old times' sake, if not for the prisoner's!"
"I daresay," replied Jeanne calmly: "perhaps you'll tell me why I should
sacrifice my interests because you're unable to look after yours. You
forget that I receive a bonus, over and above my salary, upon each
exercise of my functions!"
"True," said Enguerrand gloomily: "I did forget that. I wish I had your
business aptitudes, Jeanne."
"I daresay you do," remarked Jeanne. "But you see, dear, how all your
arguments fall to the ground. You mistake a prepossession for a logical
base. Now if I had gone, like that Clairette you used to dangle after,
and been waiting-woman to some grand lady in a chateau,--a thin-blooded
compound of drudge and sycophant,--then, I suppose, you'd have been
perfectly satisfied. So feminine! So genteel!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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