Rumours are also afloat that G.K. Chesterton has written a brilliant booklet on Eiffel Tower Lemonade, and that the Attorney General has been commissioned to write a highly interesting brochure on American macaroni. * * * * * "I enclose you a photo of my baby, Willie, aged fifteen months. He was given up by two doctors, and then I consulted another, who advised me to try ----'s Food, which I did, and he is still having it. You can see what a fine healthy boy he is now, and his flesh is as hard as iron."--From an advt. in _Lady's Companion_. Evidently a case of advanced arterio-sclerosis. * * * * * HEALTH BISCUITS. Nice and Tasty, handled by our 55 salesmen daily.--Advt. in _Montreal Daily Star_. One reason, perhaps, why both the public and the sales have declined. * * * * * WHAT WOULD YOU GIVE FOR A PERFECT SKIN? Is 3d. too much? Many perfect skins to-day are traced to a single sample. --Advt. in _Lady's Companion_. The price is reasonable; but I think I would rather see a sample first, wouldn't you? * * * * * OUR SPECIAL FILLING FAST--Headline in _Daily News_. The correct antidote for the well-known "starvation of over-repletion." * * * * * Cold Anniversary Raised Pie and New Potato Salad.--From the _Seventh Anniversary Menu of The Eustace Miles Restaurant_. I am told that one old gentleman, misled by the chef's quite innocent use of adjectives, protested to a waitress that the day was really very warm; also that a youthful wag obliterated the initial C from his menu with a pen-knife and then inquired which was the better vintage, '06 or '09. * * * * * But to contend that there is no difference between a good yellow man and a good white man is like saying that a vegetarian chop of minced peas is like a chop of the chump variety.--_New Witness_. Chop-chop--as the good yellow man might be tempted to say if he came upon this specimen of white wisdom. * * * * * Canvassers can make a very good profit by selling a patent ladies' folding handbag, also wristlet watches.--Advt. in _Daily Mail_. Nevertheless, the only place for a patent lady is a registry office. * * * * * CAKEOMA PUDDING? You cannot know how delicious they are until you have tasted them.--Advt. in _Lady's Companion_. One of the things that would never have occurred to you if you hadn't seen it expressed so clearly. * * * * *