To be ignored, to be deliberately set aside, to be insulted by a
selfishness so calculating and so deliberate as to make her own
attitude seem all warmth and generosity by comparison, genuinely
astonished her. At first, indeed, a sort of magnificent impatience had
prevented her from feeling any stronger emotion than astonishment. It
was too ridiculous, said the bride to herself tolerantly; it could not
go on, of course, this preposterous consideration of a child of ten,
this belittling consideration of her own place in the scheme as less
Clarence's wife than Billy's mother. It must adjust itself with every
week that they three lived together, the child slipping back to her own
life, the husband and wife sharing theirs. When Clarence's first fears
for his daughter's comfort under the new rule were set at rest, when
his confidence in the wisdom and efficiency of his wife was fully
established, then a normal relationship must ensue. "Surely Clarence
wouldn't ask a woman to marry him just to give Billy a home and social
backing?" Rachael asked herself, in those first puzzled days in Paris.
That was seven years ago. She knew exactly that for truth now. Long ago
she had learned that whatever impulse had moved Clarence Breckenridge
to ask her to marry him was quickly displaced by his vision of Billy's
need as being greater than his own.
It had been an unpalatable revelation, for Rachael was a woman proud as
well as beautiful. But presently she had accepted the situation as it
stood, somehow fighting her way, as the years went by, to fresh
acceptances: the acceptance of Billy's ripening charms, the acceptance
of Clarence's more and more frequent times of inebriated
irresponsibility. Silently she made her mental adjustments, moving
through her gay and empty life in an unsuspected bitterness of
solitude, won to protest and rebellion only when the cold surface she
presented to the world was threatened from within or without.
It was distinctly threatened now, she realized with a little sick twist
of apprehension at heart, when her casual inquiry to a maid upon
entering was answered by a discreet, "Yes, Mrs. Breckenridge, Mr.
Breckenridge came home half an hour ago. Alfred is with him."
This was unexpected. Rachael did not glance either at her guest or her
stepdaughter, but she disposed of them both in a breath.
"Someone wants you on the telephone, Billy," she repeated after the
maid's information. "Take it in the library. Run right up to my room,
Elinor, and I'll be there in two minutes. I'll send some one in with
towels and brushes; you've time for a tub. Take these things, Helda,
and give them to Annie, and tell her to lookout for Miss Vanderwall."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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