"No, you didn't mean anything, Greg, nobody means anything! Nobody is
anything but sorry for me: you, Billy, Elinor, the woman who expected
us at dinner to-night, the servants at the club!" she said hotly.
"Nobody blames me, and yet every one wonders how it happens! Nobody
thinks it anything but a little amusing, a little shocking. I am to
write the notes, and make the excuses, and be shamed--and
shamed--shamed--"
Her voice broke. She rose to her feet, and rested an elbow on the
mantel, and stared moodily at the fire. There was a silence.
"Rachael, I'm sorry!" Gregory said presently, impulsively.
Instantly her April smile rewarded him.
"I know you are, Greg!" she answered gratefully. "And I know," she
added, in a low tone, "that you are one of the persons who will
understand--when I end it all!"
"End it all!" he echoed sharply.
"Not suicide," she reassured him smilingly. She flung herself back in
her chair again, holding her white hand, with its ring, between her
face and the fire. "No," she said thoughtfully, "I mean divorce."
There eyes met; both were pale, serious.
"Divorce!" he echoed, after a pause. "I never thought of it--for you!"
"I haven't thought of it myself, much," Rachael admitted, with a
troubled smile.
As a matter of fact she had thought of it, since the early days of her
marriage, but never as an actual possibility. She had preferred bondage
and social position to freedom and the uncomfortable status of the
divorced woman. She realized now that she might think of it in a
slightly different way. She had been a penniless nobody seven years
ago; she was a personage now. The mere fact that he was a Breckenridge
would win some sympathy for Clarence, but she would have her faction,
too.
More than that, she would never be younger, never handsomer, never
better able to take the plunge, and face the consequences.
"I'm twenty-eight, Greg," she said reasonably, "I'm not stupid, I'm not
plain--don't interrupt me! Is this to be my fate? I'm capable of
loving--of living--I don't want to be bored--bored--bored for the rest
of my life!"
Warren Gregory, stunned and surprised, eyed her sympathetically.
"Belvedere Bay bore you?" he asked, smiling a little uneasily.
"No--it's not that. I don't want more dinners and dances and jewels and
gowns!" Rachael answered musingly. She stared sombrely at the fire, and
there was a moment's silence.
Suddenly her mood changed. She smiled, and locking her hands together,
as she leaned far forward in her chair, she looked straight into his
eyes.
"Greg," she said, "do you know what I'd like to be? I'd like to be far
away from cities and people, a fisherman's wife on an ocean shore, with
a baby coming every year, and just the delicious sea to watch! I could
be a good wife, Greg, if anybody really--loved me!"
Laughing as she looked at him, she did not disguise the fact that tears
misted her lashes. Warren Gregory felt himself stirred as he had not
been before in his life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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