"I think that in any question of fairness between Clarence and me the
balance is decidedly in my favor!" Rachael said crisply. "Personally, I
shall have nothing to do with it, and Clarence very little. Charlie
Sturgis will represent me. I suppose Coates and Crandall will take care
of Clarence--I don't know. That's all there is to it!"
Her placid gaze roved about the ceiling. Mrs. Haviland gazed at her in
silence.
"Rachael," she said desperately, "will you TALK to someone--will you
talk to Gardner?"
"Why should I?" Rachael sat up on the couch, the loosened mass of her
beautiful hair falling about her shoulders. "What has Gardner or anyone
else to do with it? It's Clarence's business, and my business, and it
concerns nobody else!" she said warmly. "You look on from the outside.
I've borne it for seven years! I'm young, I'm only twenty-eight, and
what is my life? Keeping house for a man who insults me, and ignores
me, who puts me second to his daughter, and has put me second since our
wedding day--making excuses for him to his friends, giving up what I
want to do, never knowing from day to day what his mood will be, never
having one cent of money to call my own! I tell you there are days and
days when I'm too sick at heart to read, too sick at heart to think!
Last summer, for instance, when we were down at Easthampton with the
Parmalees, when everyone was so wild over bathing, and tennis, and
dancing, Clarence wasn't sober ONE MOMENT of the time, not one! One
night, when we were dancing--but I won't go into it!"
"I know," Florence said hastily, rather frightened at this magnificent
fury. "I know, dear, it's too bad--it's dreadful--it's a great shame.
But men are like that! Now Gardner--"
"All men aren't like that! Gardner does that sort of thing now and
then, I know," Rachael rushed on, "but Gardner is always sorry. Gardner
takes his place as a man of dignity in the world. I am nothing to
Clarence; I have never been to him one-tenth of what Billy is! I have
borne it, and borne it, and now I just can't--bear it--any longer!"
And Rachael, to her own surprise and disgust, burst into bitter crying,
and, stammering some incoherency about an aching head, she went to her
own room and flung herself across the bed. The suppressed excitement of
the last few days found relief in a long fit of sobbing; Florence did
not dare go near her. The older woman tried to persuade herself that
the resentment and bitterness of this unusual mood would be washed
away, and that Rachael, after a nap and a bath, would feel more like
herself, but nevertheless she went off to her game in a rather worried
frame of mind, and gave but an imperfect attention to the question of
hearts or lilies.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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