French essays -- Translations into English; World War, 1914-1918 -- Influence
What man, tell me, what man, were he suddenly delivered from disgust
with himself, from terror of the world, from the sadness of an age that
is without pity, from remorse for a thing he has done, from the fear
of things he has to do, what man, suffering from one of these evils,
or from several of them or from all at once, would not experience an
immense relief, would not feel a certain absolution for the errors of
the universe, a certain alleviation of his own in the contemplation of
this little osier-bed which I descry this evening, at the turning of a
lane?
What is there so profound, so divine in that scene?
Nothing, nothing, no doubt. Everything, perhaps. For who would venture
to maintain that there is anything in the world that might not be a
sign for my heart and yet be nothing more? I was following a stone
wall, an indecipherable wall at present, without significance, without
compassion, an enemy. It shut in my view and my thoughts, it was
covered with cold mosses and all the dampness of winter. And then, all
at once, the wall ended and there was a little valley crowned with
these osiers. Yes, I mean crowned, for it seemed as if all its desires
had been granted, all its aspirations satisfied, all its prayers
fulfilled.
Thousands of crimson branches rose in a chorus toward heaven, like
clusters of some smooth, straight, up-springing coral. All the branches
rose together, with one brotherly impulse, like the desires of a world
freed from ambitions and vowed to the one, the noblest ambition of
all. But why seek for words, why strive to paint it? Surely it was not
the flaming sap of the young shoots any more than the little rivulets
smoking like censers at their feet,--it was neither of these things
that promised relief and deliverance. It was the entire world that
manifested itself in this, its smallest fragment, just as the most
secretive man will betray himself by the trembling of his little finger
or the flutter of an eyelash.
II
I was once saved by the tarpaulin of a humble delivery wagon. That
tarpaulin certainly knew no more about it than did the men who owned
it, or had the use of it here below. There are, in every object,
qualities we are ignorant of and that are precisely those through which
this object fulfils its most beautiful rôle in the universe, those
to which it inclines as if toward some miraculous purpose, which are
indeed its vocation and its true destiny.
I remember it was a morning in February, one of those hopeless mornings
which we feel do not deserve the evening and will hardly attain
it. I do not know what I had done to myself or to my men to have
so completely lost all courage and purpose; but that morning I was
certainly the most destitute of beings and the least worthy of an act
of grace.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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