And yet perfect happiness, sleep without waking, light without shadow,
joy without sorrow, gaiety without eclipse. Can this ever be heaven? Let
us look back on our lives, we who have lived, and let us think. Let us
close our eyes that the past may come before us and we may remember.
What are the most beautiful memories that come before us, that make our
hearts beat again with the greatest music they have known, that bring
again to our eyes the tears that are the water of the well of God? What
have been the greatest emotions of our lives? There has been struggle
and effort, unceasing effort, crowned maybe with success, but maybe not,
effort that we know has brought out all that is best in us, that we
rejoice to remember. There will be no effort in heaven, only rest; there
is no defeat, and therefore no victory, only peace. Therefore also,
because we can have no enemies there we shall have no friends. Our
friends! How we can remember them. We have loved them because we have
hated others. But in heaven there is no hate, only an equality of
indifference. Heaven is nothing but joy. But consider, has joy been the
most beautiful thing in your life, is it joy that sounded the deepest
harmonies? Remember how you have stood upon that faraway hillside and
laid to rest your comrade beneath the forest shadows? Was it not
beautiful what your heart sang to you while you said "Farewell," and
tears came to your eyes? There are no farewells in heaven.
There are women you have loved, women whose eyes have grown large and
soft as you have spoken to them in the dusk of evenings long ago. You
have loved them because they were women. What will they be in heaven?
And the children! Think of that childless heaven. Think of the children
who laugh and play, and come to you to laugh with them, who cry and come
to you for comfort. They will require no comfort from you in heaven, and
how much will you lose? The child angels are never naughty. They can
never come to you and hide their heads upon your shoulder and say "I was
wrong. I am very sorry. Please forgive me." None of these notes shall
ever sound in heaven. There are no tears there. But do you not know
that the greater beauties can only be seen through tears, which are
their dew?
What is it that sounds the deeper notes of our lives? Is it sunshine,
happiness, gaiety? Is it any attribute of the heavens of the religions?
Surely it is never so. It is the troubles of life, the mistakes, the
sorrows, the sin, the shadow mysteries of the world, that sound in our
hearts the greater strings.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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