She heard her brother's soft footsteps as he passed her door. She heard
him pause on the upper landing and creep into the room overhead. She
heard him go out again and shut himself up in the little room beyond.
There came upon her an awful intuition of the truth.
The next day she sent for him.
"What is it, Edie?" he said.
She looked at him with loving eyes, and asked him as Maggie had asked,
"Are you ill?"
He started. The question brought back to him vividly the scene of the
night before; brought back to him Maggie with her love and fear.
"What is it? Tell me," she insisted.
He owned to headaches. She knew he often had them.
"It's not a bit of use," she said, "trying to deceive _me_. It's not
headaches. It's Anne."
"Poor Anne. I think she's all right. After all, she's got the child, you
know."
"Yes. _She_'s got Peggy. If I could see you all right, too, I should die
happy."
"Don't worry about me. I'm not worth it."
She gazed at him searchingly, confirmed in her intuition. That was the
sort of thing poor Charlie used to say.
"It's my fault," she said. "It always has been."
"Angel, if you could lay everybody's sins on your own shoulders, you
would."
"I mean it. You were right and I was wrong. Ah, how one pays! Only
_you_'ve had to pay for my untruthfulness. I can see it now. If I'd done
as you asked me, in the beginning, and told her the truth--"
"She wouldn't have married me. No, Edie. You're assuming that I've lived
to regret that I married her. I never have regretted it for one single
moment. Not for myself, that is. For her, yes. Granted that I'm as
unhappy as you please, I'd rather be unhappy with her than happy without
her. See?"
"Walter--if you keep true to her, I believe you'll have your happiness
yet. I don't know how it's coming. It may come very late. But it's bound
to come. She's good--"
He assented with a groan. "Oh, much _too_ good."
"And the goodness in her must recognise the goodness in you; when she
understands. I believe she's beginning to understand. She doesn't know
how much she understands."
"Understands what?"
"Your goodness. She loved you for it. She'll love you for it again."
"My dear Edie, you're the only person who believes in my goodness--you
and Peggy."
"I and Peggy. And Charlie and the Hannays. And Nanna and the
Gardners--and God."
"I wish God would give Anne a hint that He thinks well of me."
"Dear--if you keep true to her--He will."
If he kept true to her! It was the second time she had said it. It was
almost as if she had divined what had so nearly happened.
"I think," she said, "I'd like to talk to Anne, now, while I can talk.
You see, once they go giving me morphia"--she closed her eyes. "Just let
me lie still for half an hour, and then bring Anne to me."
She lay still. He watched her for an hour. And he knew that in that hour
she had prayed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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