He found Anne sitting on the nursery floor, playing with Peggy. "Edie
wants you," he said, loosening Peggy's little hands as they clung about
his legs.
"Mother must go, darling," said she.
But all Peggy said was, "Daddy'll stay."
He did not stay long. He had to restrain himself, to go carefully with
Peggy, lest he should help her to make her mother's heart ache.
Anne found Nanna busied about the bed. Nanna was saying, "Is that any
easier, Miss Edie?"
"It's heavenly, Nanna," said Edie, stifling a moan. "Oh dear, I hope in
the next world I shan't feel as if my spine were still with me, like
people when their legs are cut off."
"Miss Edie, what an idea!"
"Well, Nanna, you can't tell whether it mayn't be so. Anne, dear, you've
got such a nice, pretty body, why have you such a withering contempt for
it? It behaves so well to you, too. That's more than I can say of mine;
and yet, I believe I shall quite miss it when it's gone. At any rate, I
shall be glad that I was decent to the poor thing while it was with me.
Run away now, please, Nanna, and shut the door."
Nanna thought she knew why Miss Edie wanted the door shut. She, too, had
her intuitive forebodings. She was aware, the whole household was aware,
that the mistress cared more for her child than for the husband who had
given it her. Their master's life was not altogether happy. They wondered
many times how he was going to stand it.
"Anne" said Edith, "I'm uneasy about Walter."
"You need not be," said Anne.
"Why? Aren't you?"
"I know he hasn't been well lately--"
"How can you expect him to be well when he's so unhappy?"
Anne was silent.
"How long is it going to last, dear? And where is it going to end?"
"Edith, you needn't be afraid. I shall never leave him."
That was not what Edith was afraid of, but she did not say so.
"How can I," Anne went on, "when I believe the Church's doctrine of
marriage?"
"Do you? Do you believe that love is a provision for the soul's
redemption of the body? or for the body's redemption of the soul?"
"I believe that, having married Walter, whatever he is or does, I cannot
leave him without great sin."
"Then you'll be shocked when I tell you that if your husband were a bad
man, I should be the first to implore you to leave him, though he is my
brother. Where there can be no love on either side there's no marriage,
and no sacrament. That's _my_ profane belief."
"And when there's love on one side only?"
"The sacrament is there, offered by the loving person, and refused by the
unloving. And that refusal, my dear child, may, if you like, be a great
sin--supposing, of course, that the love is pure and devoted. I hardly
know which is the worst sin, then, to refuse to give, or to refuse to
take it; or to take it, and then throw it away. What would you think if
Peggy hardened her little heart against you?"
"My Peggy!"
"Yes, your Peggy. It's the same thing. You'll see it some day. But I want
you to see it now, before it's too late."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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