Anne stared a moment at the expanse presented to her.
"But," said she, "he was in it."
"Oh yes, he was in it. The ocean swallowed him as it swallowed the
others. But it couldn't keep him. He couldn't live in it, like them."
"But how did she get hold of him?"
"She got hold of him by appealing to his chivalry."
(His chivalry--she knew it.)
"It's what happens, over and over again. He thought her a vilely injured
woman. He may have thought her good. He certainly thought her pathetic.
It was the pathos that did it."
"That--did--it?"
"Yes. Did it. She hurled herself at his head--at his knees--at his
feet---till he _had_ to lift her. And that's how it happened."
Anne's spirit writhed as she contemplated the happening.
"I know it oughtn't to have happened. I know Walter wasn't the holy saint
he ought to have been. But oh, he was a martyr!" She paused. "And--he was
very young."
"Edith--when was it?"
"Seven years ago."
Anne pondered. The seven years helped to purify him. Every day helped
that threw the horror further back in time--separated it from her. If--if
he had not been steeped too long in it. She wanted to know _how_ long,
but she was afraid to ask; afraid lest it should be brought nearer to her
than she could bear. Edith saw her fear.
"It lasted two years. It was all my fault."
"Your fault?"
"Yes, my fault. Because of my horrid spine. You see, it kept him from
marrying."
"Well, but--"
"Well, but it couldn't have happened if he had married. How _could_ it?
How could it have happened if you had been there? You would have saved
him."
She paused on that note, a long, illuminating pause. The note itself was
a divine inspiration. It rang all golden. It thrilled to the verge of the
dominant chord in Anne. It touched her soul, the mother of brooding,
mystic harmonies.
"You would have saved him."
Anne saw herself for one moment as his guardian angel, her mission
frustrated through a flaw of time. That vision was dashed by another,
herself as the ideal, the star he should have looked to before its dawn,
herself dishonoured by his young haste, his passion, his failure to
foresee.
"He should have waited for me."
"Did you wait for him?"
A quick flush pulsed through the whiteness of Anne's face. She looked
back seven years to her girlhood in the southern Deanery, her home. She
had another vision, a vision of a Minor Canon, whom she had loved with
the pure worship of her youth, a love of which somehow she was now
ashamed. Ashamed, though it had then seemed to her so spiritual. Her dead
parents had desired the marriage, but neither she nor they had the power
to bring it about.
Edith had never heard of the Minor Canon. She had drawn a bow at a
venture.
"My dear," she said, "why not? It's only the very elect lovers who can
say to each other, 'I never loved any one but you.'"
"At any rate," said Anne, "I never loved any one else well enough to
marry him."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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