But he knew that she did not love him. She was grateful. It was
sometimes an Apache trait. He realized that it was his curse and hers
that he could not for an instant forget the strain. He read her
character by it, half unconsciously. He saw it in her honesty, her
sinewy grace, her features, her fearlessness, her kindness with
children,--they were all Apache characteristics; and they were all
repellent. From his youth on, he had associated the race with cruelty
and every ghastly sight he had come upon, on the plains and in the
mountains. It was a prejudice with more than the force of a heritage. He
went on with his study of her, as she sat there. He was always studying
her. But he could not decide whether it was that she lacked
sensitiveness and was really not greatly disturbed, or a savage sort of
pride in concealing emotions.
He rose to his feet, shaking off an impatience with her and with
himself. "Come," he said peremptorily; and they went out and mounted and
rode away in the face of a whipping wind up the gradual slope to the
mountains, black and weird beneath the heavy, low-hanging rain clouds.
Felipa had taught her horse to make its average gait a run, and she
would have started it running now, but that Landor checked her. It was
high time, he said, that he should teach her to ride. Now she was more
than a little proud of her horsemanship, so she was annoyed as well as
surprised.
But he went on, instructing her how it was not all of riding to stick
on, and rather a question of saving and seat and the bit.
"You give your horse a sore back whenever you go far, and you always
bring him back in a lather."
It was half because she felt it would prick him, and half in humility,
that she answered, "I suppose that is the Indian in me."
His horse started. He had dug it with the rowels. Then he reined it in
with a jerk that made it champ its curb. "Don't dwell on that all the
time," he said angrily; "forget it." And then it flashed across him, the
irreparable wrong he would be doing her if he taught her to consider the
Apache blood a taint.
She gave him an odd, furtive glance and did not answer for a time. He
was never quite able to divine with her just how much of his thoughts
she understood, and it put him at some disadvantage.
Presently she said: "I can't forget. And you can't. As for other
people--they don't matter anyway." In her scheme of things other people
rarely did matter. She hedged herself round with a barrier of
indifference that was very nearly contempt, and encouraged no
intimacies--not even with Landor. And he knew it.
She made it plainer to him by and by, as she went on to advise his
course about Brewster. "If I were you, I would ignore his having told
me, Jack. I ought to have pretended that I knew it, but I was taken by
surprise. He must not think you resent it as though it were an insult,
though. As for me, I won't have anything more to do with him; but that
is for reasons of my own."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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