'Now,' said I, 'answer me at once, and without hesitation, whether it
is the half guinea or one of the guineas that is notched in three
places, like the teeth of a saw?'
She paused a little, and then said; 'I have a long story to tell about
those same notches. I wanted a silk handkerchief yesterday, so I went
into a shop to buy one, and an impudent ugly young fellor was behind
the counter. Well, he began ogling me so, I was quite ashamed; and says
he to me, there is the change of your two pound note, says he, a guinea
and a half in gold, says he, and you are vastly handsome, says he. And
there are three notches in one of the coins, says he; guess which, says
he, but it will pass all the same, says he, and you are prodigious
pretty, says he. So indeed, I was so ashamed, that though I looked at
the money, and saw the three notches, I have quite forgotten which they
were in--guinea or half guinea; for my sight spread so, with shame at
his compliments, that the half guinea looked as big as the guinea.
Well, out I ran, blushing like a poor, terrified little thing, and sure
enough, a horrid accident was near happening me in my hurry. For I was
just running under the wheel of a carriage, when a gentleman catches me
in his arms, and says he, you are prodigious pretty, says he; and I
frowned so, you can't think; and I am sure, I never remembered to look
at the money since; and this is the whole truth, I pledge you my credit
and honour, and _by the immaculate Wenus_, as the gentlemen say.'
The accusing witness who insulted the magistrate's bench with the oath,
leered as she gave it in; and the recording clerk, as he wrote it down,
drew a line under the words, and pointed them out for ever.
'Then you saw the three notches?' said I.
'As plain as I see you now,' replied she, 'and a guilty poor thing you
look.'
'And yet,' said I, 'if his Excellenza examines, he will find that there
is not a single notch in any one of the coins.'
''Tis the case indeed,' said the magistrate, after looking at them.
He then questioned both of us more minutely, and turning to me, said,
'Your conduct, young woman, is unaccountable: but as your accuser has
certainly belied herself, she has probably belied you. The money, by
her own account, cannot be her's, but as it was found in your
possession, it may be your's. I therefore feel fully justified in
restoring it to you, and in acquitting you of the crime laid to your
charge.'
Jerry Sullivan uttered a shout of joy. I received the purse with silent
dignity, gave Maria back her sixpence, and hurried out of the room.
Jerry followed me.
'Why then,' cried he, shaking me heartily by the hand, as we walked
along, 'only tell me how I can serve you, and 'tis I am the man that
will do it; though, to be sure, you must be the greatest little
scapegrace (bless your heart!) in the three kingdoms.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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