The effect on his mind, now, of the address he had just heard, was very
much the same as if someone far above him in education and age had
attacked his father and mother, bringing forward a great array of
argument and proof to show that they were unworthy of his love and
confidence. Walter's mind could not have been more disturbed by such an
attempt than it actually was by what had been said that evening,
undermining his lifelong confidence in Christ as a divine being, and the
superhuman and miraculous as part of his own life.
He was stunned by it and at first his only desire was to be alone. As
the night wore on, this desire gave way to a longing for counsel from
someone who could answer his questions and relieve his mind of the
terrible uncertainty which had invaded it. And it was at least a strange
comment on the teaching force in the Burrton school that Walter at this
crisis could not think of anyone to whom he cared to go with a religious
doubt. There were plenty of men at Burrton occupying responsible places
as professors or instructors who knew plenty of mathematics and physics
and electricity and engineering and science. But not one that Walter
could think of who knew or cared about a student's moral or religious
character. The president was a keen, wide-awake, sharp man of affairs,
but as Walter thought of him he shrank from the idea of going to him
with a real heart trouble or with a genuine mental difficulty. He would
as soon have thought of telling his personal griefs or sorrows into a
phonograph. And yet President Davis of Burrton was a church member, a
highly educated gentleman, a great money getter from rich men, and had
the reputation in the educational world of being a success as such
school presidents go. He could extract half a million for Burrton from
some great pirate of industry, but he did not know how to extract a
poisonous doubt from a tortured mind like Walter's, or, better yet,
instill the balm of healing faith into a spirit that had for the time
being lost its God and its heaven. Great thing, our boasted education
is, isn't it! How many of our cultured, highly developed university men
are all head and no heart! And yet in the history of this old world who
would dare say that in the long run it does not need more heart than
head, or at least an equal division of each, for its comfort, its
happiness and its real progress?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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