Governesses -- Fiction; Love stories; Young women -- Fiction
I wonder if you have ever stood under the gaze of one who considered you
too inferior for notice. The sensation is quite curious. It produces not
humiliation or resentment so much as an odd apathy. You sink in your own
sight; you go down; you understand that abjection of slaves which kept
them from rising against their masters. Negatively at least you concede
the right that so treats you. You are meek and humble at once; and yet
you can be strong. I think I never felt so strong as when I saw that
cold, deep eye, which was steely and fierce and most inconsistently
sympathetic all in one quick flash, sweep over me and pay me no
attention. _Ecce Femina_ I might have been saying to myself, as a
pendant in expression to the _Ecce Homo_ of the Prætorium.
He moved aside punctiliously at the lower of the two steps that led up
to the loggia to let his wife precede him. As she came in I think she
gave me a salutation that was little more than a quiver of the lids.
Having closed her parasol, she slipped into one of the arm-chairs not
far from the table.
Now that he was at close quarters, with his work before him, he
proceeded to the task at once. In the act of laying his hat and stick on
a chair he began with the question, "Your name is--?"
The voice had a crisp gentleness that seemed to come from the effort to
despatch business with the utmost celerity and spend no unnecessary
strength on words. The fact that he must have heard my name from Hugh
was plainly to play no part in our discussion. I was so unutterably
frightened that when I tried to whisper the word "Adare" hardly a sound
came forth.
As he raised himself from the placing of his cap and stick he was
obliged to utter a sharp, "What?"
"Adare."
"Oh. Adare!"
It is not a bad name as names go; we like to fancy ourselves connected
with the famous Fighting Adares of the County Limerick; but on J. Howard
Brokenshire's lips it had the undiscriminating commonness of Smith or
Jones. I had never been ashamed of it before.
"And you're one of my daughter's--"
"I'm her nursery governess."
"Sit down."
As he took the chair at the end of the table I dropped again into that
at the side from which I had risen. It was then that something happened
which left me for a second in doubt as to whether to take it as comic or
catastrophic. His left eye closed; his left nostril quivered; he winked.
To avoid having to face this singular phenomenon a second time I lowered
my eyes and began mechanically to sew.
"Put that down!"
I placed the work on the table and once more looked at him. The striking
eyes were again as striking as ever. In their sympathetic hardness there
was nothing either ribald or jocose.
I suppose my scrutiny annoyed him, though I was unconscious of more than
a mute asking for orders. He pointed to a distant chair, a chair in a
corner, just within the loggia as you come from the direction of the
dining-room.
"Sit there."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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