Hildegarde did not sleep until her room was light with day; she was
exhausted in body, her soul was tried to the limit of its endurance.
Mechanically she drew down her shades and crept into bed. It was afternoon
when she awakened and dressed herself. She felt strangely calm, almost
detached from herself and the events which thickened about her. The agony
of the night was gone, replaced by a coldness, a numbness, as if that part
of her which suffered had been deadened by a powerful drug. She could even
reason with herself, and, reasoning, she reached a determination. She
could endure no more--she would endure no more.
Cantor.... She was done with Cantor. Never again would she accept him as
companion. She would not need what he had been able to afford--an easy
access to the world outside her father's house. She was done with her
father's house. She was done with Detroit, done with every living soul who
knew her. Something assured her that she could escape, and when she had
gained her freedom it would be to disappear--to disappear forever. She did
not know where she would go, what she would do, but she would go, and,
going, she would vanish utterly. Hildegarde von Essen would be abolished
and some place another girl would come to life. She even selected a name
for that other girl. It was not a German name....
Some one rapped on her door loudly. It was an overbearing, domineering
rap, recognized by her as her father's. It was like him, eloquent of his
personality.
"Come out!" he called, roughly.
"What do you want?" she asked, at once on the defensive, quickened to a
defensive strength. She was not afraid of him, not afraid of anything. The
time for fear had passed.
"Come out!" he repeated.
She unlocked her door and stepped into the hall, facing von Essen. His
heavy face was set; his mouth, more brutal than Bismarck's mouth, was
implacable.
"Go down-stairs," he said.
"What for?"
"Because I tell you to," he said. "Because I'm through shilly-shallying
with you. Cantor is there.... You've put him off for months. He wants to
marry you, and I want to be rid of you. You are going down to tell him you
will marry him."
She did not reply.
"Do you hear?" he said, roughly.
"Yes," she said, quietly. "Does he want to _marry_ me?"
Von Essen raised his fist above her. "Don't fool with me," he said. "You
know he wants to marry you."
"The last time he mentioned it," she said, with a quiet that should have
warned him of some alarming change in her, "he wanted me--without
marriage."
Von Essen growled incoherently. "Marriage or no marriage, it's nothing to
me.... I've given you to him. I'm through with you. If he'll marry you, so
much the better for you."
"This isn't Belgium," she said.
He twisted her about roughly so that she faced the stairs, then he pushed
her forward. "Go down!" he said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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