Like a dark cloud from the sea came the memory of the attempt he had
made, of the poor piteous history that had once embittered his life. He
sighed and said alas, thinking of his folly, of the hours when he was
shaken with futile, miserable rage. Some silly person in London had
made his manuscript more saleable and had sold it without rendering an
account of the profits, and for that he had been ready to curse
humanity. Black, horrible, as the memory of a stormy day, the rage of
his heart returned to his mind, and he covered his eyes, endeavoring to
darken the picture of terror and hate that shone before him. He tried
to drive it all out of his thought, it vexed him to remember these
foolish trifles; the trick of a publisher, the small pomposities and
malignancies of the country folk, the cruelty of a village boy, had
inflamed him almost to the pitch of madness. His heart had burnt with
fury, and when he looked up the sky was blotched, and scarlet as if it
rained blood.
Indeed he had almost believed that blood had rained upon him, and cold
blood from a sacrifice in heaven; his face was wet and chill and
dripping, and he had passed his hand across his forehead and looked at
it. A red cloud had seemed to swell over the hill, and grow great, and
come near to him; he was but an ace removed from raging madness.
It had almost come to that; the drift and the breath of the scarlet
cloud had well-nigh touched him. It was strange that he had been so
deeply troubled by such little things, and strange how after all the
years he could still recall the anguish and rage and hate that shook
his soul as with a spiritual tempest.
The memory of all that evening was wild and troubled; he resolved that
it should vex him no more, that now, for the last time, he would let
himself be tormented by the past. In a few minutes he would rise to a
new life, and forget all the storms that had gone over him.
Curiously, every detail was distinct and clear in his brain. The figure
of the doctor driving home, and the sound of the few words he had
spoken came to him in the darkness, through the noise of the storm and
the pattering of the rain. Then he stood upon the ridge of the hill and
saw the smoke drifting up from the ragged roofs of Caermaen, in the
evening calm; he listened to the voices mounting thin and clear, in a
weird tone, as if some outland folk were speaking in an unknown tongue
of awful things.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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