Often the thought of this strange old house had haunted him; he had
imagined the empty rooms where a heavy paper peeled from the walls and
hung in dark strips; and he could not believe that a light ever shone
from those windows that stared black and glittering on the neglected
lawn. But tonight the wet and the storm seemed curiously to bring the
image of the place before him, and as the wind sounded he thought how
unhappy those must be, if any there were, who sat in the musty chambers
by a flickering light, and listened to the elm-tree moaning and beating
and weeping on the walls.
And tonight was Saturday night; and there was about that phrase
something that muttered of the condemned cell, of the agony of a doomed
man. Ghastly to his eyes was the conception of any one sitting in that
room to the right of the door behind the larger box tree, where the
wall was cracked above the window and smeared with a black stain in an
ugly shape.
He knew how foolish it had been in the first place to trouble his mind
with such conceits of a dreary cottage on the outskirts of London. And
it was more foolish now to meditate these things, fantasies, feigned
forms, the issue of a sad mood and a bleak day of spring. For soon, in
a few moments, he was to rise to a new life. He was but reckoning up
the account of his past, and when the light came he was to think no
more of sorrow and heaviness, of real or imagined terrors. He had
stayed too long in London, and he would once more taste the breath of
the hills, and see the river winding in the long lovely valley; ah! he
would go home.
Something like a thrill, the thrill of fear, passed over him as he
remembered that there was no home. It was in the winter, a year and a
half after his arrival in town, that he had suffered the loss of his
father. He lay for many days prostrate, overwhelmed with sorrow and
with the thought that now indeed he was utterly alone in the world.
Miss Deacon was to live with another cousin in Yorkshire; the old home
was at last ended and done. He felt sorry that he had not written more
frequently to his father: there were things in his cousin’s letters
that had made his heart sore. “Your poor father was always looking for
your letters,” she wrote, “they used to cheer him so much. He nearly
broke down when you sent him that money last Christmas; he got it into
his head that you were starving yourself to send it to him. He was
hoping so much that you would have come down this Christmas, and kept
asking me about the plum-puddings months ago.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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