at ten shillings the piece.” He put down the pamphlet, and laughed
again at the books and the reviewers: so that he might not weep. This
then was English fiction, this was English criticism, and farce, after
all, was but an ill-played tragedy.
The rejected manuscript was hidden away, and his father quoted Horace’s
maxim as to the benefit of keeping literary works for some time “in the
wood.” There was nothing to grumble at, though Lucian was inclined to
think the duration of the reader’s catarrh a little exaggerated. But
this was a trifle; he did not arrogate to himself the position of a
small commercial traveler, who expects prompt civility as a matter of
course, and not at all as a favor. He simply forgot his old book, and
resolved that he would make a better one if he could. With the hot fit
of resolution, the determination not to be snuffed out by one refusal
upon him, he began to beat about in his mind for some new scheme. At
first it seemed that he had hit upon a promising subject; he began to
plot out chapters and scribble hints for the curious story that had
entered his mind, arranging his circumstances and noting the effects to
be produced with all the enthusiasm of the artist. But after the first
breath the aspect of the work changed; page after page was tossed aside
as hopeless, the beautiful sentences he had dreamed of refused to be
written, and his puppets remained stiff and wooden, devoid of life or
motion. Then all the old despairs came back, the agonies of the
artificer who strives and perseveres in vain; the scheme that seemed of
amorous fire turned to cold hard ice in his hands. He let the pen drop
from his fingers, and wondered how he could have ever dreamed of
writing books. Again, the thought occurred that he might do something
if he could only get away, and join the sad procession in the murmuring
London streets, far from the shadow of those awful hills. But it was
quite impossible; the relative who had once promised assistance was
appealed to, and wrote expressing his regret that Lucian had turned out
a “loafer,” wasting his time in scribbling, instead of trying to earn
his living. Lucian felt rather hurt at this letter, but the parson only
grinned grimly as usual. He was thinking of how he signed a check many
years before, in the days of his prosperity, and the check was payable
to this didactic relative, then in but a poor way, and of a thankful
turn of mind.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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