He had come by curious paths to this calm hermitage between Shepherd’s
Bush and Acton Vale. The golden weeks of the summer passed on in their
enchanted procession, and Annie had not returned, neither had she
written. Lucian, on his side, sat apart, wondering why his longing for
her were not sharper. As he though of his raptures he would smile
faintly to himself, and wonder whether he had not lost the world and
Annie with it. In the garden of Avallaunius his sense of external
things had grown dim and indistinct; the actual, material life seemed
every day to become a show, a fleeting of shadows across a great white
light. At last the news came that Annie Morgan had been married from
her sister’s house to a young farmer, to whom, it appeared, she had
been long engaged, and Lucian was ashamed to find himself only
conscious of amusement, mingled with gratitude. She had been the key
that opened the shut palace, and he was now secure on the throne of
ivory and gold. A few days after he had heard the news he repeated the
adventure of his boyhood; for the second time he scaled the steep
hillside, and penetrated the matted brake. He expected violent
disillusion, but his feeling was rather astonishment at the activity of
boyish imagination. There was no terror nor amazement now in the green
bulwarks, and the stunted undergrowth did not seem in any way
extraordinary. Yet he did not laugh at the memory of his sensations, he
was not angry at the cheat. Certainly it had been all illusion, all the
heats and chills of boyhood, its thoughts of terror were without
significance. But he recognized that the illusions of the child only
differed from those of the man in that they were more picturesque;
belief in fairies and belief in the Stock Exchange as bestowers of
happiness were equally vain, but the latter form of faith was ugly as
well as inept. It was better, he knew, and wiser, to wish for a fairy
coach than to cherish longings for a well-appointed brougham and
liveried servants.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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