For a moment he held her in close embrace, then his arms fell, as if
paralyzed, from about her. He drew back one quick step, a look
crossing his face that startled her even more than his strange
unexplained words.
"There where I go, you could not follow me ever," he said at last with
the resolution of despair. "I am bound by a sacred oath to leave the
world. I have no right to ask any woman for her love! Henceforth, my
home--this castle--must be a dream, a memory to me, and you, Ilaria,
will stand as far above me as yonder star soars above the earth!
Ilaria! I have pledged my word to my father that I will bid farewell
to life and happiness, to take in their stead the lonely vows of a
Benedictine monk!"
There was a dead silence.
For a moment she looked at him, as if trying fully to comprehend what
it was he had said.
Then his meaning pierced her brain.
She shrank slowly away from him, then stood quite still, her eyes wide
and dark with horror, her face white, as a mask of death. A great icy
wave of silence seemed to have swept between them, shutting them out
from the world of life.
In an instant all the softness and gentleness of her manner dropped
from her like a discarded garment. She drew her trailing robes about
her as if she dreaded contamination from him. A single petal from the
flower he wore had fallen upon her breast. She brushed it from where
it nestled. It fluttered down upon the grass.
"A monk! And you have dared to touch me!" she hissed, as if she would
have spat upon him.
A mist came over Francesco's eyes. For a few moments he was conscious
of nothing. All life and expression had gone from his face. He did not
see the flood of grief, the anguish and the wounded pride that
prompted her action. He only saw her turn about without another word,
and move swiftly from him towards the castle court, her eyes blinded
with tears.
Like one dazed, Francesco stood and stared at the spot whence she had
gone. He saw and heard nothing save in memory. His white garb
shimmered in the moonlight with more life in its purity than there was
in his face. His soul was wrapped in awful bitterness at his
destiny,--the punishment for his father's sin.
He had not told her. He had told no one. Twice on the same day he had
been misunderstood, his integrity assailed. He had hoped and prayed
for understanding. His prayer had been denied. None there was who
understood, none who even vaguely guessed the enormity of the
sacrifice. Pity only he had encountered, a pity akin to contempt, from
those whose cause he had seemingly deserted; disdain from her whose
lips might have alleviated the burden of his destiny by a blessing
that he might take with him on his lonely, solitary road.
How long he stood thus, his limbs benumbed, paralyzed with grief,
afraid to move, almost afraid to breathe, he knew not. An icy hand
seemed to clutch his heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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