Suddenly in his waking dream he found himself at Monte Cassino in the
cell of the Prior. And the Prior talked and talked about the sins of
the world, and the lust of the flesh, and of prayers and penances.
How, as he sat there in grim silence, the Prior thought he was
listening, instead of thinking of a smile of divine sweetness, and a
fairer face than that of the Virgin looking out at him from the mural
painting of Masaccio. And how the Prior would have crossed himself and
implored protection from the snares of Satan, had he known that
Francesco's thoughts were of a woman. How, when he went to his own
cell that night, when he lay down on the bare hard boards, that served
for bed and pillow, a swift revulsion of feeling had come over him.
At that moment Francesco felt that, wherever he went, he would bear
his shadow with him none the less surely, because its presence might
be hidden by the general negative of that sunlight, which so
inexorably illumined every detail of the road that lay before him.
The shadow!
Was he indeed a living soul created in the image of his Maker, or an
echo merely shouted by some fiend in derision, destined to wander
forever disconsolate among the waste places, seeking and finding
not?--
Now he saw Ilaria come up the moonlit path.
For a moment he wavered, trembling in every limb. Then the memory of
their meeting at the fountain swept over him in a mighty wave. He
called to mind the sweet smile of long ago, the touch of her hands.
No longer master of his feelings, he took a step forward, his eyes,
straining into the night, riveted upon her. There was a hint of
melancholy in the curve about the mouth and the farseeing eyes.
Another moment and he found himself face to face with Ilaria Caselli.
As she noted the shadow across her path, she paused sharply, then, as
their eyes met, he saw the flowing motion of her figure stiffening
into curves that lent a suggestion of resistance. He caught the
momentary impatience of her brow and the start of resentment in her
eyes.
His purpose vanquished, he stood mute in the face of the striking
chill of her pride.
For a moment they regarded each other in silence, a silence that
resembled the settling waters after the plunging of a stone.
Her face was very white, and her eyes, as they met his, shone with an
almost supernatural lustre.
Yet this silence was putting the two asunder, contrasting them
vividly, balancing them one against the other.
The repose and the self-confidence ran all towards the woman.
Her face waited.
She seemed to look down from above on Francesco the monk.
A moment ago he had had so much to say, and now his own voicelessness
begot anger and rebellion.
Ilaria was looking at him, as if she saw something, and nothing, and
Francesco felt that her eyes called him a fool. Her air of aloofness,
as of standing above some utterly impersonal matter, put the man under
her feet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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