About eighteen was the age at which men generally married, girls younger. A man under thirteen years and a day was forbidden to marry, and a woman under twelve years and a day. Wednesday was fixed as the day for maidens to marry, and Thursday for widows. If the bride was a maid each party was allowed twelve months after betrothal in which to prepare for marriage, in case of a widow but thirty days were allowed. A widower had to wait over three festivals and a widow three months before re-marrying. A marriage could not take place within thirty days of the death of a near relative, nor on the Sabbath, nor on a feast-day. Marriage was not permitted with those not in their right senses, nor in a state of drunkenness. "The Mosaic law (Lev. XVIII., 7-17; XX., 11, etc.) proscribes no less than fifteen marriages within specified degrees of both consanguinity and affinity. In neither consanguinity and affinity, however, does the law extend beyond two degrees, viz., the mother, her daughter, aunt, father's wife, sister on the father's side, wife of the father's brother, brother's wife (excepting in case of the Levirate marriage), daughter-in-law, granddaughter either from a son or daughter, and two sisters together."[144] It was generally held that all marriages were arranged in heaven and that it was proclaimed there, forty days before the child's birth, just whom he or she should marry. Upon earth, the parent assumed this part and chose for his child the one he was to have in life as a partner. This duty belonged to the father, and if no father, then the mother. The son might make a personal choice of his bride, so that the son's wishes might be consulted, but all proposals, nevertheless, were made by the father. Girls up to twelve years and a day, minors, could be betrothed by the father and this was true of all women in the earlier times, but later, if of age, the woman had to give her own free and expressed consent, without which a union was invalid. The proposals were offered usually by the parents of the young man, but if there was a difference of rank then they were made by the father of the girl. The betrothal was considered as sacred as marriage and could not be more easily broken. "For a betrothal to be legal, it has to be effected in one of the following three modes: 1. By _money_, or _money's worth_, which, according to the school of Shammai, must be a denar--90 grains of pure gold--or, according to the school of Hillel, a perutah--half grain of pure silver--and which is to be given to the maiden, or, if she is a minor, to her father, as betrothal price. 2. By _letter_ or _contract_, which the young man either in person or through a proxy, has given to the maiden, or to her father when she is a minor. 3. By _cohabitation_, when the young man and maiden, having pronounced the betrothal formula in the presence of two witnesses, retire into a separate room. This, however, is considered immodest, and the young man is scourged."[145]