A father was to provide a dowry for his daughter conformable to her station in life, and should the father not be able to do this the bridegroom would, before marriage, give her sufficient for the necessary outfit. In case of an orphan the dowry was provided from public funds. In earlier times, after the giving over of the marriage price and other gifts, the bridegroom took the bride with him. At a later period a marriage-feast was given at the bride's home, and at a later period yet the wedding-feast was furnished at the home of the bridegroom. Children were very greatly desired by the ancient Hebrews, and especially male children, as the more children a man had the more was he respected. Also the expectance of the Messiah, who might come from any one of the families, made children all the more wished for. Hence marriage was a duty with them, and this desire for children was also a cause for polygamy as thereby more children would be born to a family. Yet polygamy and concubinage was not the rule with the Hebrews but the rare exception, so far as the people generally were concerned, so that they really adopted monogamy and were, probably, the only Semites who did so. Even where polygamy or concubinage did occur the law insisted that each wife or concubine should receive her full conjugal rights, which prevented any extended practice even among the most wealthy. Divorce was allowed for "any shameful thing," which, necessarily, was interpreted in different ways. "In fact, we know that it included every kind of impropriety, such as going about with loose hair, spinning in the street, familiarly talking with men, ill-treating her husband's parents in his presence, brawling, that is, 'speaking to her husband so loudly that the neighbors could hear her in the adjoining house,' a general bad reputation, or the discovery of fraud before marriage. On the other hand, the wife could insist on being divorced if her husband were a leper, or effected with polypus, or engaged in a disagreeable or dirty trade, such as that of a tanner or coppersmith. One of the cases in which divorce was obligatory was, if either party had become heretical, or ceased to profess Judaism."[146] Yet divorces were not so common as might be thought under so loose a statement for procuring them. Rather strict laws were drawn up explicitly stating for what divorce could be allowed, both to man and to woman. Divorce was discouraged and a conciliation was always tried to be brought about before divorce proceedings began. The divorced parties could marry other parties and even could unite again. The bill of divorcement had to be couched in explicit terms, handed to the woman herself, and in the presence of two witnesses. In separation of the parents where there were children, the daughters were placed in charge of the mother and the sons were given to the father; but should the judge consider it of advantage to the children, the sons also were given to the mother.