At the time of the exchange of cards presents were sent. For the girl was sent a pair of silver or gold wristlets and for her family articles of food, as pigs' feet, fruits, fowls, etc. For the boys' family were sent artificial flowers, bread, cakes, etc. As usually in a family there was strict separation between the males and females, there was but little opportunity for the bride and groom to meet one another and often they would not have seen one another till the day of the wedding. The difficulty was increased after betrothal, for it was considered quite improper for the girl to be actually seen by the family of the future mother-in-law. The girl had to maintain the strictest seclusion. She must retire to the inner apartments when friends called upon her parents, and when going out she was to use a closed sedan chair. For this reason, most engagements were arranged between parties not living in the same place. The time which might transpire between betrothal and marriage varied from a month or two to eighteen or twenty years, depending much on the age of the parties. "There are six ceremonies which constitute a regular marriage. 1. The father and elder brother of the young man send a go-between to the father and brother of the girl, to enquire her name and the moment of her birth, that the horoscope of the two may be examined, in order to ascertain whether the proposed alliance will be a happy one. 2. If so, the boy's friends send the go-between back to make an offer of marriage. 3. If that be accepted, the second party is again requested to put their assent in writing. 4. Presents are then sent to the girl's parents according to the means of the parties. 5. The go-between requests them to choose a lucky day for the wedding; and, 6, the preliminaries are concluded by the bridegroom going or sending a party of his friends with music to bring his bride to his own house."[76] In the spring was considered the most appropriate time for marriage, and the month in which the peach-tree blossomed as the happiest time. The following poem translated from the "Book of Odes," illustrates this: "Sweet child of spring, the garden's queen, Yon peach-tree charms the roving sight; Its fragrant leaves how richly green, Its blossoms how divinely bright! "So softly shines the beauteous bride, By love and conscious virtue led, O'er her new mansion to preside, And placid joys around her spread."[77]