The History and Records of the Elephant Club — John Shaqi
The History and Records of the Elephant ClubDoesticks, Q. K. Philander
General
The History and Records of the Elephant Club
Doesticks, Q. K. Philander
American wit and humor
One by one, the other gentlemen arrived, and were ushered by the
housekeeper into Mr. Spout's apartment. They sat, engaged in discussing
tobacco and the events of the day. At length, Mr. Dropper inquired of
Mr. Spout if he had as yet fully elaborated the idea which, on the
occasion of the previous meeting, had seemed to weigh so heavily on his
mind?
"I was about to advert to the subject," said Mr. Spout. "It has engaged
my undivided attention up to the present time, and the idea and plan
based upon it are sufficiently perfected to satisfy myself."
"Trot it out," said Boggs, "we are all attention."
"The fact, gentlemen," said Spout, "that most of our number have been
either absent from the city, or so much engaged in our different
vocations that we have never gained, or have lost, familiarity with many
interesting phases of life, as it exists in New York, suggested to me
the thought of devoting some portion of our time to looking about, and
having put our observations in writing, to interchange them for our
mutual gratification."
"A capital idea," said Mr. Dusenbury Quackenbush.
"Brilliant with pleasurable results," remarked Mr. Myndert Van Dam.
"Replete with rational enjoyment," suggested Mr. Remington Dropper.
"I'm in," was the laconic response of Mr. James George Boggs.
"Then I suppose I can count upon your coöperation in the realization of
the idea," said Spout.
A general affirmative answer being given, Mr. Spout continued.
"You being unanimous," said he, "I'll now proceed to unfold my plans.
To secure unanimity of action and entire success, it is necessary that
we have a plan of organization. But in thinking upon this subject, I
have foreseen that, by the adoption of any of the ordinary plans, we
saddle ourselves with a useless machinery, which will hinder the
successful accomplishment of the object we desire. We have no time to
spare in discussing rules of order, the adoption of which invariably
makes disorder the rule. Yet, there must be a head. In brief, then,
gentlemen, I propose that the principles upon which our meetings shall
be governed, shall be a despotic principle, but one which shall be
compatible with the largest liberty of the governed. How do you like the
idea?"
"The idea looks paradoxical to me," said Van Dam.
"Rather profound," suggested Quackenbush.
"Funny," said Boggs.
"I can tell better when I hear the rules," said Dropper.
"I have them prepared," continued Spout. "Shall I read them to you?"
"By all means," replied Van Dam.
The others signified an affirmative response.
Mr. Spout then proceeded to read:--
We, whose signatures are hereunto affixed, do hereby organize ourselves
into a club, having for its
NAME,
THE ELEPHANT CLUB, and having in view the following
OBJECTS:
1. The enjoyment and amusement of its members through.
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