The History and Records of the Elephant ClubDoesticks, Q. K. Philander
General
The History and Records of the Elephant Club
Doesticks, Q. K. Philander
American wit and humor
When this interesting episode in the day's performance was concluded,
the participants picked themselves up, and prepared to again besiege
Satan in his stronghold, the north side of Sebastopol of the hearts of
sinful niggers. Singing was the first feature, and the hymn was of a
style unique, and, to the Elephants, highly refreshing. In point of
comparison they had never known anything like it, and the execution was
incomparable to anything known to exist by them. An athletic colored
individual sang the words of the hymn, and, after each verse, the whole
congregation would join in the swelling chorus.
The effect of the hymn was electric. No less than twenty-seven colored
females were seized with spasmodic religion, whilst over a dozen of the
sterner sex found themselves unable to longer resist the thirsting of
the spirit for religious nourishment, and they, too, fell over, and,
amid the howling, kicking, singing, shouting and indescribable confusion
that followed, Mr. Quackenbush expressed it as his opinion that chaos
had come.
But Mr. Boggs was seriously affected by the performance. He fell down in
the grass, and laughed, and rolled, and positively refused to be
comforted or get up, until the rest of the company ran sticks in his
ears, and put last year's chestnut-burs down his back. When he had
sufficiently recovered, the members of the club renewed their
investigations. They listened to several exhortations and hymns, and
then peeped under the horse-blanket tents. In one they saw a youthful
wench, trying to pray with her mouth full of cold sausage. Her efforts
were useless, and becoming satisfied of this fact herself, she
concluded, very sensibly, to no longer try to save her soul on an empty
stomach, but see to her bodily wants first. Before she had got ready to
pray again she had drank a pint of gin, which so heightened her
religious enthusiasm that she made a dive among the pious elders, gave
four shouts of glory, and fell into the arms of a venerable gentleman,
who divided his time for the next hour in kissing the young sister, and
crying amen and glory in alternation.
At last, the Elephants concluded to return to the city. They piled
themselves into the vehicles, and by means of sundry persuasive
arguments, the horses were induced to reach the livery-stable, rather
warm, inside of two hours.
After the party had stowed away divers beefsteaks and onions, and other
articles of food, they ascended into the club-room. Here they found
Overdale and Wagstaff, both asleep. They were awakened, and, in a
peremptory manner, the Higholdboy demanded to know why they had not
been on hand in the morning at the place of rendezvous, to witness the
sable performance in the rural districts. The answers of the two
offending individuals differed. Wagstaff assigned as a reason that he
was asleep, whereas Overdale stated that he wasn't awake. The Higholdboy
announced himself satisfied with the answers.
FURTHER DISCOVERIES.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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