The History and Records of the Elephant ClubDoesticks, Q. K. Philander
General
The History and Records of the Elephant Club
Doesticks, Q. K. Philander
American wit and humor
Mr. Dropper stepped forward and confronted him. He said he was aware
that if every man were compelled to account for the possession of that
which he claimed as his own, the world would hear some rich
developments, in a moral point of view, respecting the tenure of
property; and it was precisely for this reason that he had stopped him
in the street. He inquired of fat party with the silk umbrella, if he
saw the point of his remark. Fat party confessed his inability to
comprehend its intent. Mr. Dropper then proceeded to state that when he
called fat party's attention to the subject of titles to property in
general, he did suppose that fat party would be led to ask himself
whether he had a legal and equitable title to the umbrella in particular
which he was then under. Fat party fancied that he _did_ perceive a
lurking innuendo that he had stolen somebody's umbrella. Mr. Dropper was
gratified to discover fat party's readiness of comprehension; at his
request fat party brought down the umbrella, which discovered the
following words painted conspicuously on the cloth outside:
"STOLEN FROM R. DROPPER."
Mr. Dropper insisted that there was the evidence, "R. Dropper," meaning
Remington Dropper--Remington Dropper being himself--"Stolen from R.
Dropper," by whom?--He would not assert positively that fat party was a
hall-thief, but he would say and he did say, that his umbrella was found
in fat party's possession, without his permission. Some old
stick-in-the-mud had said somewhere, to somebody, sometime, that an
honest confession was good for the soul, and if fat party would
acknowledge the unbuilt whisky, he wouldn't appear against him on his
trial for petty larceny. Fat party repudiated the idea that he was a
thief. As far as Mr. Dropper's recollection assisted him he had always
noticed that the biggest rascals protested their innocence the most
emphatically. Fat party appealed to Mr. Dropper's magnanimity to hear
his explanation, which Mr. Dropper consented to do.
The explanation developed the fact that fat party was Mr. James George
Boggs, late of the Department of the Interior, at Washington, who had
arrived that afternoon in the city with his sister, Mrs. Banger, wife of
Mr. Banger, of the firm of Steel, Banger & Co., who, it is already
stated, were Mr. Dropper's employers. They went directly to Mr. Banger's
counting-room, and whilst there it commenced to rain; Mr. Banger offered
Mr. Boggs Dropper's umbrella to walk up with, Boggs accepted it, and on
his way up had been stopped on suspicion of theft.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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