'But look here, Dora; when I'm gone away, you _may_ tell him,
you _must_ tell him, Dora,' said the child, imperiously. 'I'd
not have him see me now for anything. I made Mary Ann put all the
glasses away. I don't want to remember what a fright I am. But at
Hastings I'll soon get well; and--and remember, Dora, you
_are_ to tell him. I'd like him to know I nearly caught my
death that day, and that it was all along of him!'
She laid her hands across each other on the sheet with a curious
sigh of satisfaction, and was quiet for a little, while Dora held
her hand. But it was not long before the stillness broke up in
sudden agitation. A tremor ran through her, and she caught Dora's
fingers. In her weakness she could not control herself, and her
inmost trouble escaped her.
'Oh, Dora, he wasn't kind to me, not a bit--when I went to tell him
that night. Oh! I cried when I came home. I _did_ think he'd
have taken it different.'
'What did he say?' asked Dora, quietly. Her face was turned away
from Lucy, but she still held her hand.
'Oh, I don't know!' said Lucy, moving her head restlessly from side
to side and gulping down a sob. 'I believe he was just sorry it was
_me_ he'd got to thank. Oh, I don't know!--I don't know!--very
likely he didn't mean it.'
She waited a minute, then she began again:
'Oh of course you think I'm silly; and that I'd have much more
chance if I turned proud, and pretended I didn't care. I know some
girls _say_ they'd never let a man know they cared for him
first. I don't believe in 'em! But I don't care. I can't help it.
It's my way. But, Dora, look here!'
The tears gathered thick in her eyes. Dora, bending anxiously over
her, was startled by the change of expression in her. From what
depths of new emotion had the silly Lucy caught the sweetness which
trembled for a moment through every line of her little trivial
face?
'You know, Dora, it was all nonsense at the beginning. I just
wanted some one to amuse myself with and pay me attentions. But it
isn't nonsense now. And I don't want him all for myself. Friday
night I thought I was going to die. I don't care whether the doctor
did or not; _I_ did. And I prayed a good deal. It was queer
praying, I dare say. I was very light-headed, but I thanked God I
loved him, though--though--he didn't care about me; and I thought
if I did get well, and he were to take a fancy to me, I'd show him
I could be as nice as other girls. I wouldn't want everything for
myself, or spend a lot of money on dress.'
She broke off for want of breath. This moral experience of hers was
so new and strange to her that she could hardly find words in which
to clothe it.
Dora had slipped down beside her and buried her face in the bed.
When Lucy stopped, she still knelt there in a quivering silence.
But Lucy could not bear her to be silent--she must have sympathy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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