Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 1702-1714 -- Humor; Political satire, English
III. Furthermore, the said John Bull obliges himself to make the country
neighbours of Nicholas Frog allot a certain part of yearly rents, to pay
for the repairs of the said landed estate, to the intent that his good
friend, Nicholas Frog, may be eased of all charges.
IV. And whereas the said Nicholas Frog did contract with the deceased
Lord Strutt about certain liberties, privileges, and immunities,
formerly in the possession of the said John Bull, I, the said John Bull,
do freely by these presents, renounce, quit, and make over to the said
Nicholas, the liberties, privileges, and immunities contracted for, in
as full a manner, as if they never had belonged to me.
V. The said John Bull obliges himself, his heirs and assigns, not
to sell one rag of broad or coarse cloth to any gentleman within the
neighbourhood of the said Nicholas, except in such quantities and such
rates as the said Nicholas shall think fit.
Signed and sealed,
JOHN BULL,
NIC. FROG.
The reading of this paper put Mrs. Bull in such a passion that she fell
downright into a fit, and they were forced to give her a good quantity
of the spirit of hartshorn before she recovered.
D. DIEGO--Why in such a passion, cousin? considering your circumstances
at that time, I don't think this such an unreasonable contract. You see
Frog, for all this, is religiously true to his bargain; he scorns to
hearken to any composition without your privacy.
MRS. BULL.--You know the contrary.* Read that letter.
[Reads the superscription.] For Lewis Baboon, Master of the Noble
Science of Defence.
"SIR.--I understand that you are at this time treating with my friend
John Bull, about restoring the Lord Strutt's custom, and besides
allowing him certain privileges of parks and fish-ponds; I wonder how
you that are a man that knows the world, can talk with that simple
fellow. He has been my bubble these twenty years, and to my certain
knowledge, understands no more of his own affairs than a child in
swaddling clothes. I know he has got a sort of a pragmatical silly jade
of a wife, that pretends to take him out of my hands; but you and she
both will find yourselves mistaken; I'll find those that shall manage
her; and for him, he dares as well be hanged as make one step in his
affairs without my consent. If you will give me what you promised him, I
will make all things easy, and stop the deeds of ejectment against Lord
Strutt: if you will not, take what follows. I shall have a good action
against you, for pretending to rob me of my bubble. Take this warning
from
"Your loving friend,
"NIC. FROG."
* Secret negotiations of the Dutch at that time.
I am told, cousin Diego, you are one of those that have undertaken to
manage me, and that you have said you will carry a green bag yourself,
rather than we shall make an end of our lawsuit: I'll teach them and you
too to manage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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