Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 1702-1714 -- Humor; Political satire, English
* A Member of Parliament, eminent for a certain cant in his
conversation, of which there is a good deal in this book.
** A cant word of Sir Humphrey's.
*** Another cant word, signifying deceived.
With incredible pains have I endeavoured to copy the several beauties
of the ancient and modern historians; the impartial temper of Herodotus,
the gravity, austerity, and strict morals of Thucydides, the extensive
knowledge of Xenophon, the sublimity and grandeur of Titus Livius; and
to avoid the careless style of Polybius, I have borrowed considerable
ornaments from Dionysius Halicarnasseus, and Diodorus Siculus. The
specious gilding of Tacitus I have endeavoured to shun. Mariana, Davila,
and Fra. Paulo, are those amongst the moderns whom I thought most
worthy of imitation; but I cannot be so disingenuous, as not to own the
infinite obligations I have to the "Pilgrim's Progress" of John Bunyan,
and the "Tenter Belly" of the Reverend Joseph Hall.
From such encouragement and helps, it is easy to guess to what a degree
of perfection I might have brought this great work, had it not
been nipped in the bud by some illiterate people in both Houses of
Parliament, who envying the great figure I was to make in future ages,
under pretence of raising money for the war,* have padlocked all
those very pens that were to celebrate the actions of their heroes, by
silencing at once the whole university of Grub Street. I am persuaded
that nothing but the prospect of an approaching peace could have
encouraged them to make so bold a step. But suffer me, in the name of
the rest of the matriculates of that famous university, to ask them some
plain questions: Do they think that peace will bring along with it
the golden age? Will there be never a dying speech of a traitor? Are
Cethegus and Catiline turned so tame, that there will be no opportunity
to cry about the streets, "A Dangerous Plot?" Will peace bring such
plenty that no gentleman will have occasion to go upon the highway, or
break into a house? I am sorry that the world should be so much imposed
upon by the dreams of a false prophet, as to imagine the Millennium is
at hand. O Grub Street! thou fruitful nursery of towering geniuses! How
do I lament thy downfall? Thy ruin could never be meditated by any who
meant well to English liberty. No modern lyceum will ever equal thy
glory: whether in soft pastorals thou didst sing the flames of pampered
apprentices and coy cook maids; or mournful ditties of departing
lovers; or if to Maeonian strains thou raisedst thy voice, to record
the stratagems, the arduous exploits, and the nocturnal scalade of needy
heroes, the terror of your peaceful citizens, describing the powerful
Betty or the artful Picklock, or the secret caverns and grottoes of
Vulcan sweating at his forge, and stamping the queen's image on viler
metals which he retails for beef and pots of ale; or if thou wert
content in simple narrative, to relate the cruel acts of implacable
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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