American essays -- 20th century; Child development; Children; Education
All along the lines, I yelled it--and it came forth like an inspired
message--lie that it was from my angle. For to me, death was better
than retreat, with the eyes of the world on our little nucleus of the
new order.... My shouts were checking them.
"Our Comrades are coming to us--hold for them!... Don't run away ...
they are coming! They are coming to join us, when they clean themselves
up over yonder--only a little clean-up first, my children. Hear the
noise?"
I don't know how long I rode. I only knew that the fighting death was
victory--that there is no propaganda like martyrdom....
They answered at first with a kind of half-hearted halt. I was struck
with the silence. A queer thing happened. I saw that I had spoken the
truth.... There was firing ahead, but it had no meaning of death to our
ranks. They were firing in the air, and some threw down their guns and
were running toward us. Presently we saw the tent-cloths hoisted in
truce. It was like seeing my mother again--shaking the table-cloth to
the birds.
Then I saw their lines and ours running together--yes, Varsieff's
new heaven and new earth--saw them running together bare-headed,
white-haired peasant boys, hands outstretched, mouths open.... Freedom
was an aureola of different sunlight around their heads. On they came
like glorious ruffians, seizing their brothers in their arms--the lines
folding together like good mates before the Lord.
Then it was like a blast--that Varsieff must see this! A cold blast
in the heart--that he must not miss this glory--that my eyes must not
dwell upon this great consummation alone! Deep within, I knew my pain
was because his head was not lifted to the picture of his conquest.
Deep within, I knew that for some inexplicable reason of fate, he was
held back like the old Master on the other side of the Jordan--not
allowed to enter and witness the beauty of the promised land.
In the midst of that radiant tumult, I ran back to the place that I
had left him. It was trampled; the mud was deeper, but Varsieff was
not there.... In the midst of the shouting and the glory, I searched
for him.... Hours passed, the fighting ceased ... we were a hundred
thousand strong, armed, provisioned, hearts turned homeward.... Scores
of us were looking for the Varsieff now.
And then I heard my name called, and two young student-officers caught
me, one to each elbow and carried me forward, running to where the
woman stood ... Paula Mantone. She was standing in the midst of her own
people--the sun on her face. And I saw, too, the white look of one who
has conquered fear, but the weariness of her eyes was like the presence
of death....
"Where is he?" she whispered.
"Oh, God, I do not know----"
"Poor dear Lange--all is well with us.... The boys of two armies
rushing together--yes, Lange, this is a good day for us----"
She spoke rapidly, like lines committed--the same death-like weariness
in her tones.... She had taken my hand:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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