English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"Perhaps you've been ageing lately. I have. This last election has
added years to my life. I came here to get young again."
"I don't know anything about politics. Father does all the knowing
in our family."
"He's on the right side, isn't he?"
"I think he is. He says he is."
"Oh, well, he ought to know.... Yes, the truth is I came here to be
liked again. People and I have been saying awfully rude things to
each other lately."
"Oh, why do you want to argue about politics?"
"But I DON'T want to. It's a funny thing, but nobody will believe me
when I say that."
"I expect it's because you say it AFTER you've finished arguing,
instead of BEFORE,"
"Perhaps that's it."
"I never argue with mother. I simply tell her to do something, and
she tells me afterwards why she hasn't."
"Really, I think Mrs Middleton has done wonderfully well,
considering. Some parents don't even tell you why they haven't."
"Oh, I'd recommend her anywhere," said Miss Middleton confidently.
We dropped into silence again. Anyhow, it was MY favourite waltz.
"You did say, didn't you, the first dance we had together," said
Miss Middleton dreamily, "that you preferred not to talk when you
danced?"
"Didn't I say that I should prefer to do whatever you preferred?
That sounds more like me."
"I don't think it does, a bit."
"No, perhaps you're right. Besides, I remember now what I did say. I
said that much as I enjoyed the pleasant give and take of friendly
conversation, dearly as I loved even the irresponsible monologue or
the biting repartee, yet still more was I attached to the silent
worship of the valse's mazy rhythm. 'BUT,' I went on to say, 'but,'
I added, with surprising originality, 'every rule has an exception.
YOU are the exception. May I have two dances, and then we'll try one
of each?'"
"What did I say?"
"You said, 'Sir, something tells me that we shall be great friends.
I like your face, and I like the way your tie goes under your left
ear. I cannot give you ALL the dances on the programme, because I
have my mother with me to-night, and you know what mothers are. They
NOTICE. But anything up to half a dozen, distributed at such
intervals that one's guardians will think it's the same dance, you
are heartily welcome to. And if you care to take me in to supper,
there is--I have the information straight from the stable--a line in
unbreakable meringues which would well be worth our attention.'
That's what you said."
"But what a memory!"
"I can remember more than that. I can rememher the actual struggle.
I got my meringue down on the mat, both shoulders touching, in one
minute, forty-three seconds."
The band died slowly down until no sound could be heard above the
rustle of frocks ... and suddenly everybody realized that it had
stopped.
"Bother," said Miss Middleton.
"That's just like a band," I said bitterly.
"I'll tell it to go on again; it's MY band."
"It will be your devoted band if you ask it prettily enough."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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