English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
Miss Middleton went away, and came back to the sound of music,
looking rather pleased with herself.
"Did you give him the famous smile?" I asked. "Yes, that one."
"I said, 'WOULD you mind playing that one again, PLEASE?' And
then--"
"And then you looked as if you were just going to cry, and at the
last moment you smiled and said, 'Hooray.' And he said, 'Certainly,
madam.' Isn't that right?"
"I believe you're cleverer than some of us think," said Miss
Middleton, a trifle anxiously.
"I sometimes think so too. However, to get back to what we were
saying--I came here to recover my usual calm, and I shan't be at all
calm if I'm only going to get this one dance from you. As an old
friend of the family, who has broken most of the windows, I beg for
another."
"To get back to what I was saying--I've simply GOT to do a lot of
duty dances. Can't you take me to the Zoo or the Post-Impressionists
instead?"
"I'd rather do both. I mean all three. No, I mean both."
"Well, perhaps I would, too."
"You know, I think you'd be doing good. I've had a horrible
week--canvassing, and standing in the streets, and shouting, and
reading leaders, and arguing, and saying, 'My point is perfectly
simple,' and--and--swearing, and all sorts of things. It's awfully
jolly to--to feel that there's always--well, all THIS," and I looked
round the room, "to come back to."
"Isn't that beautiful Miss Ellison I introduced you to just now part
of 'all this'?"
"Oh yes, it's all part; but--"
Miss Middleton sighed.
"Then that nice young man with the bald head will have to go
without. But I only said I'd SEE if I could give him one. And I have
seen, haven't I?"
The band really stopped this time, and we found a comfortable
corner.
"That's very jolly of you," I said, as I leant back lazily and
happily. "Now let's talk about Christmas."
III.--ANOTHER MILESTONE
"You're very thoughtful," said Miss Middleton. "What's the matter?"
"I am extremely unhappy," I confessed.
"Oh, but think of Foster and Hobbs and Woolley."
I thought of Foster; I let my mind dwell upon Hobbs. It was no good.
"I am still rather sad," I said.
"Why? Doesn't anybody love you?"
"Millions adore me fiercely. It isn't that at all. The fact is I've
just had a birthday."
"Oh, I AM sorry. Many happy--"
"Thank you."
"I thought it was to-morrow," Miss Middleton went on eagerly. "And
I'd bought a cricketing set for you, but I had to send it back to
have the bails sawn in two. Or would you rather have had a bicycle?"
"I'd rather have had nothing. I want to forget about my birthday
altogether."
"Oh, are you as old as that?"
"Yes," I said sadly, "I am as old as that. I have passed another
landmark. I'm what they call getting on."
We gazed into the fire in silence for some minutes.
"If it's any comfort to you," said Miss Middleton timidly, "to know
that you don't LOOK any older than you did last week--"
"I'm not sure that I feel any older."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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