English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"Hadn't you better have the croquet lawn? Thomas walks in his sleep,
and we don't want to have him going through hoops all night."
"You'll have to bring down your own mattresses," went on Dahlia,
"and you've not got to walk about the garden in the early morning,
at least not until Myra and I are up, and if you're going to fall
over croquet hoops you mustn't make a noise. That's all the rules, I
think."
"I'm glad we've got the tennis lawn," said Myra; "it's much
smoother. Do you prefer the right-hand court, dear, or the
left-hand?"
"We shall be very close to Nature to-night," said Archie. "Now we
shall know whether it really is the nightjar, or Simpson gargling."
We were very close to Nature that night, but in the early morning
still closer. I was awakened by the noise of Simpson talking, as I
hoped, in his sleep. However, it appeared that he was awake and
quite conscious of the things he was saying.
"I can't help it," he explained to Archie, who had given expression
to the general opinion about it; "these bally wasps are all over
me."
"It's your own fault," said Archie. "Why do you egg them on? I don't
have wasps all over ME."
"Conf--There! I've been stung."
"You've been what?"
"Stung."
"Stung. Where?"
"In the neck."
"In the neck?" Archie turned over to me. "Simpson," he said, "has
been stung in the neck. Tell Thomas."
I woke up Thomas. "Simpson," I said, "has been stung in the neck."
"Good," said Thomas, and went to sleep again.
"We've told Thomas," said Archie. "Now, are you satisfied?"
"Get away, you brute," shouted Simpson, suddenly, and dived under
the sheet.
Archie and I lay back and shouted with laughter.
"It's really very silly of him," said Archie, "because--go
away--because everybody knows that--get away, you ass--that wasps
aren't dangerous unless--confound you--unless--I say, isn't it time
we got up?"
I came up from under my sheet and looked at my watch. "Four-thirty,"
I said, dodged a wasp, and went back again.
"We must wait till five-thirty," said Archie. "Simpson was quite
right; he WAS stung, after all. I'll tell him so."
He leant out of bed to tell him so, and then thought better of it
and retired beneath the sheets.
At five-thirty a gallant little party made its way to the house, its
mattresses over its shoulders.
"Gently," said Archie, as we came in sight of the tennis lawn.
We went very gently. There were only wasps on the tennis lawn, but
one does not want to disturb the little fellows.
VI.--A FINAL ARRANGEMENT
"Seeing that this is our last day together," began Archie--
"Oh, DON'T," said Myra. "I can't bear it."
"Seeing that this is our first day together, we might have a little
tournament of some kind, followed by a small distribution of prizes.
What do you think, Dahlia?"
"Well, I daresay I can find something."
"Any old thing that we don't want will do; nothing showy or
expensive. Victory is its own reward."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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