The home: its work and influenceGilman, Charlotte Perkins
General
The home: its work and influence
Gilman, Charlotte Perkins
Home
Hospitality is a quality of human life, a virtue which appears after a
certain capacity for altruism is developed; not a very high degree, for
we find a rigid code of hospitality among many savage tribes; and which
obtains in exact proportion to the distance, difficulty, and danger of
travelling.
We still find its best type among the Bedouin Arabs and the Scotch
Highlanders; we find it in our own land more in the country than the
city, more in the thinly settled and poorly roaded south than in the
more thickly settled and better roaded north; and most of all on the
western frontier, where mountain and desert lie between ranch and
ranch.
To call out the most lively sense of hospitality the traveller must be
weary (that means a long, hard road), and "distressed"--open to injury,
if not hospitably received. To have a fresh, clean, rosy traveller drop
in after half an hour's pleasant stroll does not touch the springs of
hospitality. The genuine figure to call out this virtue is the
stranger, the wanderer, the pilgrim.
Hospitality will not stand constant use. The steady visitor must be a
friend; and friendship is quite a different thing from hospitality.
That finds its typical instance in the old Scotch chief sheltering the
hunted fugitive; and defending him against his pursuers even when told
that his guest was the murderer of his son. As guest he was held
sacred; he had claimed the rights of hospitality and he received them.
Had he returned to make the same demand every few days, even without
renewing his initial offence, it is doubtful if hospitality would have
held out.
A somewhat thin, infrequent virtue is hospitality at its heights,
requiring intervals of relaxation. "Withdraw thy foot from thy
neighbour's house, lest he weary of thee and hate thee," says the
proverb of the very people where the laws of hospitality were sacred;
and "the stranger within thy gates" came under the regular provision of
household law.
Hospitality became a sort of standing custom under feudalism, as part
of the parental care of the Lord of the Land; and thus acquired its
elements of pride and ostentation. Each nobleman owned all the land
about him; the traveller had to claim shelter of him either directly or
through his dependents, and the castle was the only place big enough
for entertainment. The nobleman saw to it that no other person on his
domain should be able to offer much hospitality. So the Castle or the
Abbey had it all.
A little of this spirit gave character to the partly danger-based
southern hospitality. It was necessary to the occasional stranger on
the original and legitimate grounds; it became a steady custom to the
modern Lord of the Manor, none of whose subsidiary fellow-citizens had
the wherewithal to feed and shelter guests. But hospitality, even in
that form, is not what issues cards and lays red carpet under awnings
from door to curb.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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